Page 148 of Coerced Queen

“Thanks,” I whisper, biting hard on my lip not to cry.

“I wish I could stay longer, but I better get going.Logan invited his parents for dinner a long time ago, and I don’t want to cancel.”

I get to my feet.“I understand.”

She makes a sad face.“When you’re falling apart, we’ll make an illegal fire in my backyard and grill marshmallows.We’ll top that off with lots of chocolate and wine.”

I laugh through the tears that I can’t contain any longer.“That sounds kind of wonderful.”

She gives me a hug.“Take care of yourself, darling.”

Sniffing, I pull away.“I am.That’s why I have to do this.”

She gathers her bag and leaves me with a promise to call soon.

Once alone, I use the time to finish packing, taking only a few outfits.The future seems daunting, and the unknown is scary, but I’ve done this before.I can do it again.

While I work, I try to come up with a plan.First, I need to decide where Claire and I are going.I need to rent an apartment and find a job.My car was a gift, but I don’t want to take anything from Saverio.Pride dictates that I make it on my own.Maybe I’ll just use the car until I’m on my feet and my financial situation is stable enough to afford one.

As Nicole promised, the effect of the injection is immediate.The nausea is something of the past, and now that I no longer feel sick at the thought of food, I’m starving.

Reluctant to run into Saverio, I tiptoe to the kitchen where I rummage through the fridge.I have a terrible craving for plain Greek yoghurt with honey.Having found my prize, I snatch it from the fridge and carry it to the island counter where I dribble honey over the half gallon of yoghurt and eat it straight from the container.

Yum, this tastes amazing.

It’s so good to eat again that I’m scraping the bottom of the pot before I know it.I lick the spoon clean and put it in the dishwasher.Feeling considerably better, I pour a glass of milk and polish that off too.

Thanks, Nicole.You’re a life saver.

Rubbing my content stomach, I go upstairs to shower and change.Claire will need to be breastfed soon.I can use the time under the relaxing spray of the warm water to think of a way to tell Livy I’m leaving with Claire.We have a lot to talk about.Maybe she’ll decide to continue working at After Dark.She seems to love the job.Plus, she’s cut out for it.

When I pull the T-shirt over my head, I wince at the pain in my arm.I’ll ask Livy to help me clean the wound and change the bandage after my shower.Nicole covered it with a waterproof plaster.Yet the pull from the stitches and the burn in my bicep where the bullet lodged into my muscle aren’t the only aches.The brush of the cotton over my nipples is painfully uncomfortable.My breasts ache, and they’re more swollen than usual.Maybe they’re sore because I’m overdue for expressing milk, but it’s the thin blue veins running underneath the pale, tautly stretched skin that give me pause.

The nausea, the tenderness, and the cravings are all symptoms I had when I was pregnant with Claire.It’s impossible that I’m pregnant again.Saverio is infertile.I saw the tests with my own eyes.Yet I can’t squash the sliver of doubt that wormed its way into my mind.

I shower and change, doing my best to think about the life-altering decisions that deserve my attention, but it’s futile.I can’t focus on anything but the far-fetched notion that my symptoms are born from a different reason than delayed shock and accumulated breastmilk.

I leave the room quietly, looking up and down the hallway before going downstairs.Saverio is nowhere to be seen.The study door is closed.He probably isolated himself in there, and I’m pathetically grateful for that.I can’t avoid him forever, but I need a little time to pull myself together.

When I’ve fed Claire and put her down for her nap, I drive to the pharmacy with a convoy of guards following me and buy a box of pregnancy tests.

At home, I lock myself in the bathroom and follow the instructions on the leaflet.While I wait for the results, I let my imagination run wild.I sit on the edge of the bath, biting my nails as I contemplate what it will mean if the test is positive.

Saverio will never believe me.He’ll think I cheated on him.Maybe he’ll suspect Benson Bennett, who offered me fifteen million to have sex with him and who sent me a ridiculously huge bouquet of roses.

The thought hurts my chest.I wouldn’t want Saverio to go through that after the pain he suffered when Rachele cheated on him.I’d hate for him to accuse me of doing the same when I’m innocent.I’m not sure I’ll be able to stomach or forgive such an accusation.

Wait.

Why am I even wasting my time with this line of thought?The only man who touched me was Saverio, and he can’t have children.I’m being silly.Stupid, really.I’m not pregnant.I just panicked and jumped the gun.

I huff out a laugh at how ridiculous I’m being, relief already setting in when I pick up the stick and look at the test window.

Two blue lines.

What?

Shock pelts me from all directions like hail raining down from the sky.

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