Page 147 of Coerced Queen

“Yeah.Sav told me when he called.”

I go ahead up the stairs.

“WhereisClaire?”she asks as I open the bedroom door and step aside for her to enter.

“Livy is playing with her in the television room.”

Nicole stops in her tracks when her gaze lands on the suitcase on the bed.“Are you guys running away?”She gives me a panicked look over her shoulder.“Should we be packing?”

Blowing out a sigh, I say, “It’s nothing like that.”

“Oh no, Anya.”She turns to face me.“What happened?”

“I’m not giving up on him, not as a friend who’ll always have his back, but I can’t stay with him as his wife if he doesn’t love me.”Repeating my words to Saverio, I say, “We both deserve better.”

She drops her case on the bed and pats the mattress.

I pad over and sit down.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”She unclips the case and takes out a vial and a hypodermic needle.“What happened to letting Sav’s actions speak for themselves?He couldn’t say it any louder than he did with the party he threw for you.”

“The party was amazing, and I appreciate everything he did for me.The dance touched me deeply.So did the cake and the beautiful flowers and all the hard work you put in to make everything so perfect.But coming close to death not once but twice made me realize I want more.I don’t want parties and sweet acts that give me hope only to have my heart broken time and again.”I swallow down my tears, my voice shaking with the effort not to cry.“Because every time he tells me he doesn’t love me, my heart breaks a little more, and I’m afraid it will destroy me bit by bit until there’s nothing left of me.”

Her gaze is compassionate.“Does he really have that much power over you, enough to destroy you?Is that how much you love him?”

I blink away the moisture that gathers in my eyes.“I’m afraid so.”I take a deep, calming breath.“I realized something else too.I realized that clinging to Saverio just because I’m madly in love with him is selfish behavior on my part.If we allow this obsession to continue, we’ll stay with each other for all the wrong reasons.If I don’t let him go, he’ll never find the woman who’ll heal him and allow him to love again, and I won’t meet someone who’s capable of returning my love.”

She sighs.“As much as it pains me to say, I understand your logic.But I still think you’re perfect for each other.And I know if you leave, Sav will be devastated.”

“Maybe for a short while, but he was devastated when Rachele left him too, not so?He’ll get over it.”

She purses her lips.“When are you leaving?”

“As soon as possible.There’s no point in dragging it out.The sooner I do this, the quicker we can move on.”

She digests that for a moment before giving a resigned nod.“I hoped for a different ending for the two of you, but I can’t fault you for putting your self-preservation and happiness first.I respect your decision.I’ll support you just as I’ll support Sav.”

“Thanks.”I take her hand and give a squeeze.“That means a lot to me.”

Her smile is rueful.“Shall we make you feel better?”

“Please.I really need to eat, but the sight of food alone makes me sick.”

“That won’t do, especially as you’re breastfeeding,” she says, going to the bathroom.

While scrubbing her hands in the basin, she calls from the open door, “Any idea where you’ll go?”

“I’m still thinking about that.”When she returns, I say, “I haven’t told Livy yet.I’ll appreciate it if you don’t mention anything until I’ve had time to speak to her.”

Fitting a pair of surgical gloves, she says, “Of course.”

“Thanks, Nicole.For everything.I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“Don’t mention it, darling.”She pushes up my sleeve and uses a disinfectant swab to clean a patch of skin on my uninjured bicep.“This should help immediately.”She empties the vial into the syringe.“If it doesn’t, I want you to call me.”

I flinch at the prick of the needle when it pierces my skin.“Let’s hope that won’t be necessary.I’ve bothered you enough as it is.”

“Not at all.”She injects the medicine into my arm.“I’m happy to help.”After discarding the vial and the needle in a zip-lock bag, she removes the gloves and throws everything in the trash can.“Calling me goes for not feeling okay in a non-physical way too.”She pats my hand.“I’m here for you.”

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