Page 90 of The Photograph

“Alex?”

“The rabbi said it wasn’t God’s will.”

“And what did you say to that?”

“Ugh. Don’t, Des, okay? Maybe I have to make some sacrifices temporarily to help them understand. Go along with some stuff, you know?”

No, I don’t know. “Youagreedwith them?”

“Everybodywas here. It was incredibly difficult to stick my neck out and cause a big argument with Mom and Dad in front of the whole family.”

They’ve sandbagged him. “That’s probably why they set it up like that. So, your dad’s bulldozed you back into pretending you’re not gay again?”

“It’s a short-term thing to try to help my sisters. Everyone is so relieved and happy, so I’m going along with it for now. I’ll have another conversation with them tomorrow. It might take some time.”

How much time? And what about me? I feel disrespected. Turned over and tossed in the corner. A convenient bolt-hole when things got too hot for him. Where is the guy I was so proud of standing up to his dad three weeks ago? Dammit, I should have gone there with him. I let him go into that vipers’ nest alone. But I can’t fight all his battles for him. And how stupidam I? Where is the future in this? He’s never going to choose me over his family, his wholelife.

“They’re never going to come around, Alex. You’re deluding yourself. They’ve just bullied you back into pretending, basically.”

“I’ll talk to them tomorrow morning, Des, I promise. I’ll call you.”

Gut churning, I hang up on him.

35

DES

The following day I’m at my desk at 7 a.m. staring at the screen. The morning ticks by quietly. I’m supposed to be assessing Amy’s software, but in my current frame of mind it looks remarkably like hieroglyphics, so I start at the top and track the logic through, only to forget where I am and have to begin all over again. Members of my team pop by and ask questions and I answer them, but I can’t remember what I told them two seconds after I’ve opened my mouth. I’m momentarily distracted from the ache in my chest by the nonappearance of Rodrigo, James spilling coffee all down his new shirt, and Jo sharing her latest scan. With her pregnancy, she’s relaxed into going to meetings in more normal clothes. The suits she wore before to look more professional were hot, but an aberration, nonetheless, and I’m hoping they don’t make a reappearance.

The clock at the bottom of my screen isn’t moving.And still no message from Alex.But the definition of morning is before noon, right? What if he doesn’t call? What the hell would that mean?

I never considered a scenario where I thought I’d found “The One” and it didn’t work out. If you know, surely they know, too?Clearly, I’m stupid and massively lacking in imagination. And how arrogant does that sound? Of course things go off the rails—it happens all the time. Have I watched too many rom coms? They never show all the failures and compromises, that wouldn’t make for a good story. And who would watch something like that? Everyone wants the dream.

Jo signals to James and me that she needs a chat, and I glance at the clock again, frowning, but I pick up my phone and follow them into the conference room.

“Guys,” she starts, “I talked to the chief executive of Samsung software today.”

That’s high up. My heart sinks. We delivered the project late. Things have been so fraught here with sorting the team, and now this whole thing with Alex—I haven’t been giving it my all.

“They want us to set up a team out there.”

I draw in a sharp breath. Things here aren’t great, but I thought it was a gelling-together problem, not an issue with the work we were producing for Samsung that they might want us closer at hand to keep an eye on.

“In Korea?” James asks.

Jo nods.

“They’re very happy with what we’re doing, but they want people on the ground. In the same time zone.”

Wait. What?

“The security update was late. I haven’t been as responsive recently …” I start, but Jo holds up her hand.

“Absolutely not. He wasn’t worried about the update: He knows how complicated it is. He singled you out as being outstanding.” Jo glances down at her hands. “In fact, he asked if you could go out there and head it up.”

“What? Go to Korea?”

Jo nods. “Permanently.”

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