DES
Later on, when we’re both lying in bed stretched out with hands behind our heads, I’m only too aware there’s one thing we haven’t discussed. The blinds are closed but a ghostly light is seeping around the edges—the kind of thing that happens in every apartment in Manhattan. A low hum and click tells me the air is switching on, and Mitzi is a hot weight against the side of my leg. She shouldn’t be in here but for some reason I’ve become completely soft and couldn’t leave her outside our bedroom tonight.Our bedroom.
“We should have gone out to celebrate,” Alex says.
“What could be better than a bottle of red wine and an episode ofNCIS?” I say, and he laughs.
“I love that that’s our thing,” he says.
He’s quiet for a minute or two, and then says, “Thank you for everything today. I’ve lived here my entire life and I had no one to turn to in a crisis … except you. My parents would have turned being fired into a disaster and blamed it on me, whereas it turns out I’m pretty blameless here; I just got unlucky. Or at least that’s what the lawyers are saying. God, it was such a relief to have that conversation.”
Groaning, I roll into him, and he adjusts his arm so I can rest my head on his shoulder. I’ve caused him trouble in so many ways, first with his family, then with his work. I even talked him through a whole list of tech companies, for Christ’s sake.
“This is amazing, too,” he says.
“What is?”
“Just lying here with you.”
Fuck. I do not want to ruin how lovely this moment is right now.
Kissing his collarbone, I prop myself up on my elbow.
“There’s something I need to tell you. It might spoil tonight, but I can’t not talk about it either.”
The corners of Alex’s mouth turn down, and he rubs his hand up his chest. “Did you sleep with someone?”
It’s funny that that’s the first place his mind went when it’s the last thing I’d have wanted to do. My stomach churns, but I also get it. My relationship history is terrible, and it’ll take time before we get on a more comfortable footing. In the meantime, I want to give him all the reassurance I can.
“Can I just say that would have been impossible for me? In fact, it’s been unthinkable since that first time on my couch when I watched you come apart in my hands and I knew you were the only man I wanted to see that happen to. Alex, I know I’ve hooked up a lot in the past, but it wasn’t from some great desire to sleep with loads of people. The opportunity was there and I like sex. But it’s different doing this with you.” I bury my face in his neck. “And I love it.”
When I lift my head again, pink has crept up his cheeks, and his arm comes up behind me to rest on my head as he plays with my curls. His abs flex under my hand when he lifts up and kisses my lips, and I groan, following him down.Goddammit.
“Let me talk, if I get distracted I won’t say what I need to say.” I suck in a deep breath. “Samsung want us to set up an office inKorea. Jo asked me to go out there and head it up. At first, I said I’d think about it. I’ve never thought of leaving New York and I wasn’t going to do it, but when everything seemed to be falling apart with you I felt I needed to get out of the city. We don’t have a lot of options in the business right now with people who could do something like this … so … I said yes.”
His jaw drops. “All this happened since I went back home?”
“Yes. Looking back on it, that’s so impulsive, but things move fast in startups, and you have to roll with them. James offered to go instead of me and I …”
He blows out a long breath.
“To be fair, Jo might not have talked to Samsung yet. I still might be able to get out of it. It might be possible to find someone else.”
“But it’s a good opportunity for you, yes? To set something up like this in another country?”
“Yeah. The break I got when I joined Williams Security to be her number two alongside James was great anyway, but to help her grow a global company, so young … it’s an amazing opportunity for me.”
“Then you have to do it.”
“I don’thaveto do it, Alex. What about us? What we have is so good. I’m not risking this.”
His face is solemn, thoughtful, as he turns his head away from me to look at the window, lashes dark against his pale skin.
“How would you feel about me coming with you?”
“Comingwithme?” My heart stutters in my chest. “Are youserious?”
“I mean …Yes.It sounds amazing and what’s keeping me here?” He sweeps out a hand. “The last few days have underlined for me how toxic the whole thing is with my parents. Maybe if I leave and you and I are together for a couple of years, then their attitudes might shift, but my dad … yeah … he might never comearound. Before today I might have said my job at East River, but now that’s gone up in smoke. It doesn’t feel like I’m losing anything at all.”