Page 55 of Essence of his Soul

“I can’t believe you’re all stressed out over a woman,” Diamere chuckled, shaking his head like he couldn’t grasp what was happening. “Not with all these fine women in this bar.”

I tried to brush him off, taking a long swig of my beer. After I dipped out of Essence’s place, I wasn’t trying to sit at home and think about how close I’d come to crossing a line with her. So, when Diamere hit me up, I figured, why not? I hadn’t seen him in a minute, and catching up was better than sitting at home, going over every moment in my head.Diamere and I wentway back—best friends since ninth grade. Even though we took different paths—me joining the Army and him flying all over the world in the Air Force—we always picked up right where we left off whenever we linked up.But the one thing that hadn’t changed?Diamere still lived that bachelor life, keeping women in rotation like clockwork.Marriage, commitment, all that? Nah, that wasn’t even on his radar.

The barmaid came through, her short, tight spandex dress leaving just enough to the imagination. Diamere’s eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store.

“My, my, my, you look good enough to eat,” he said, flashing one of those signature grins he knew women couldn’t resist.

She smirked, all seductive, as she tickled his chin before moving on to the next table. I shook my head, trying not to laugh.Diamere stayed on the hunt, never missing an opportunity to charm a woman.

Even with the loud music and the crowd, I couldn’t shake what had just gone down with Essence.I didn’t mean to bounce from her place like that, but I had no choice. It would've been a wrap if I stayed even a minute longer.I wanted her—bad. The way she looked at me tonight, I knew she felt it, too. The fire between us was real, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could deny my sexual needs. But I had to.I promised her—and myself—I wouldn’t push.This next step had to be hers. All night, I could tell she was battling her emotions; she was nervous but unable to resist when I touched her face or held her hand.She should be grateful I showed that much restraint because I was ready to do more than just kissing.

But I wasn’t going there until she was ready. I told her I needed her to make the next move.I wasn’t about to play games or settle for half-stepping. I wanted all of her, but it had to be her decision.

And tonight?Something in her eyes was like she was on the verge of making that call.The way she kissed me lit a fuse that had been burning all night. I’d been hard as a rock during dinner, and it didn’t let up when I drove her home. But when the moment came, something in her still held back, and I couldn’t keep doing this dance without knowing where we stood.

“So, when do I get to meet this woman who’s got you twisted?” Diamere’s voice broke through my thoughts.

“She’s coming to my parents’ for Christmas,” I said, shrugging like it wasn’t that big a deal.

“Good. I’ll be there too,” Diamere grinned. “Haven’t seen your fine little sister in a while.”

I shot him a look. “Don’t even think about it. Kelly’s not trying to be another notch on your belt.”

It wasn’t a secret that Diamere thought Kelly was beautiful, but I didn’t have to worry about him.Kelly wasn’t falling for that player nonsense.

Diamere took another swig of his beer, still grinning. “I still can’t believe you’re somebody’s daddy now. You? Mr. Independent?”

I chuckled, shaking my head. “Yeah, man, it’s wild. But Tyler? He changed everything.”

Diamere leaned back, shaking his head in disbelief. “Well, looks like you’re not the only one. Ryan’s threatening to hit me with child support. Might have to put a ring on it.”

I nearly choked on my beer. “You?Marrying somebody? Come on, man, you don’t even like staying in one place.”

He shrugged like it was no big deal.“Hey, you know what they say—it’s cheaper to keep ‘em.”

I gave him a look. “Yeah, that’s one way to look at it.”

A woman walked by, smelling like she dipped herself in an entire perfume bottle. Diamere’s eyes followed her, already planning his next move.Some things never changed.

I laughed, shaking my head. “You sure you’re ready to give all this up for a ring?”

“Nope,” he said with a smirk, “but I will. Anyway, we’re not here to talk about me. Let’s get back to you. What’s your move?”

I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. “Man, I don’t even know. I’ve never had to put in this much work for a woman before. It’s frustrating, but she’s got me hooked.”

“So, is she worth all this?”

I thought about Essence—her smile, the way her eyes lit up when she kissed me, and how she made me feel like I was wrapped up in something bigger than I could control. “Yeah, she’s worth it,” I admitted, more to myself than to Diamere.

He took a slow sip from his beer, eyeing me over the bottle's rim. “Then why are you out here playing games? If she’s really worth it, tell her how you feel. Let her know it ain’t just about doing the right thing for Tyler anymore.”

I stayed quiet for a second, letting his words sink in. Any fool sitting in this joint could see I was stuck on something, and Diamere wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t even looked twice at any of the women around us, and there were some beauties in here tonight, but none of them came close to Essence.

“Man, quit lying to yourself,” Diamere said, setting his beer down with a thud. “If you want her, be about your business and stop acting like you don’t already know what you’ve gotta do.”

He was right, and I knew it. I had been too caught up in my head, letting my pride get in the way. I was so busy trying to keep things in check that I was at risk of losing her.

Chapter 16

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