Page 50 of Essence of his Soul

“And you don’t?” I raised an eyebrow at her.

She grudgingly admitted, “I can give advice. I’m just not good at taking it when it comes to my love life.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Who said anything about love?”

“What else could it be?” she shot back, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I wasn’t ready to admit it, not to her or myself. “I’m fighting a losing battle, Kel. I’ll have to come see my son whenever I can.”

“Are you crazy? How often do you think you’ll be able to fly in from Texas? Not nearly enough,” she snapped, her voice rising.

“What else am I supposed to do?” I was at my wits' end.

“Fight, big head, fight!” She snorted. “Come on, big bruh, time is of the essence. No pun intended.”

I took a deep breath, meeting her gaze. “Okay, I’ll take any suggestions.”

She smirked like she’d been waiting for me to say that all along. “I thought you’d never ask.”

* * *

Hours after Mark left, Kelly put the last of the pot roast in the fridge and grabbed a dish towel to wipe down the stove. Her big brother was a piece of work, she thought with a smirk as she sprayed cleaner over a caked-on spill. After talking with him for three hours, Kelly was sure there was hope for him and Essence. Mark might not have realized it yet, but she could tell—he was madly in love with Essence Monroe.

She chuckled as she rinsed the towel and draped it over thefaucet. It was so obvious. She knew her brother better than anyone could always read those gold tones in his eyes, shifting to bronze whenever something weighed heavy on his mind. Lately, those eyes had been shifting a lot. It was only a matter of time before he figured it out for himself.

Finally, a woman had come along who could teach Mark how to love again.Kelly never thought she’d see the day. After that witch, Carmen shattered his heart into a million pieces, she figured he’d stay shut down forever. But here was Essence, working her magic without even trying. And she was the one who introduced them in the first place and was claiming credit for it all.

Essence was the easy part. When Kelly saw her at the mall, she could tell Essence’s heart still belonged to Mark. How her face lit up at the mention of him said it all. Kelly could already picture it—the two of them together with Tyler, a real family.

Humming, Kelly flipped off the kitchen light and entered the living room to catch the evening news. The twinkling Christmas tree lights in the corner cast a warm glow over the room, making everything feel cozy. She grabbed the remote and settled between a few lime-green pillows on the couch, kicking off her house shoes and curling her legs beneath her. Laying her head down, she sighed with contentment. It had been a long week of Christmas parties with her students, and now she had two weeks of quiet time ahead. Family time, which she always cherished.

Family meant everything to her. They were her constant, the source of love and support she could always rely on. That was something no man had ever given her. Every relationship she’d tried was one disappointment after another. She wasn’t lying when she told Mark she had her own issues with love.

Her eyes wandered to the abstract painting on the wall, a gift from her last boyfriend, Lance Lewis. She frowned at the memory. Lance had said he respected her decision to saveherself for marriage, but deep down, he didn’t get it. After months of wining and dining, hoping she’d change her mind, he eventually moved on. Like so many others—she was more interested in what they could take than who she was.

Nevertheless, she still believed good men were out there. Men who would appreciate her values. She hadn’t found one yet and wasn’t about to look. Good things come to those who wait; she was determined to stand firm. A man who would love her for who she truly was would come along someday.

Her phone buzzed with a notification—a weather alert predicting more snow. Kelly smiled. Nothing beats a white Christmas, something she shared with her older sister, Calaine. She couldn’t wait to see her and her husband, David, and their baby girl, Dominique. They’d stay at their parent’s house for the holidays before visiting David’s family in San Antonio.

She loved hearing the story of how Calaine and David met—how David had known she was the one nearly ten years before they reunited. It reminded her of the crush she used to have on her brother’s best friend, Diamere.

She was eleven when she first met Diamere. He was sixteen and finer than Morris Chestnut, with a smile that could swoon any girl. Kelly remembered answering the door to him one day and being immediately smitten. From that moment on, she’d started paying extra attention to her appearance whenever he was around, hoping he’d notice. By the end of eighth grade, she was head over heels in love and even asked him to marry her.

Kelly chuckled at the memory. She’d spent years counting down to her eighteenth birthday, thinking that’s when Diamere would finally take her seriously. But by then, he was engaged to Jada, and her young heart had been shattered. It wasn’t until she left for college that she finally let go of her crush and moved on. Still, thoughts of Diamere crept up from time to time. And now, he was on her mind again because Mark mentioned he’d decidednot to re-enlist in the Air Force and was thinking of coming home to run the family restaurant. Kelly hugged a pillow to her chest, a peaceful sigh escaping her lips. Diamere had once been a fixture at their parent’s house for the holidays, and the idea of seeing him again made her heart tingle. Maybe this Christmas would bring more than just snow.

Chapter 14

After Mark brought Tyler home, put him to bed, and said goodnight, I hopped into the shower, feeling the weight of the school year finally melting off my shoulders. The hot water ran over me, washing away the stress and exhaustion. As I turned off the shower and stepped out, I grabbed a towel, drying off quickly. I wasn’t just tired physically, but mentally. With school closed until the new year, I was looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow—assuming Tyler decided to cooperate and do the same. He’d been knocked out since eight-thirty, and when I glanced at my phone, I saw it was barely ten.

I reached for my candy cane Christmas pajamas, hanging on the back of the bathroom door, and slipped into them. As I stared at myself in the mirror, the truth I’d been avoiding hit me hard.

I’d been foolish.

We both knew the long daily visits were over when Mark left tonight. Now that school was closed for winter break, any time he spent with Tyler would be planned. And that thought hit me harder than I expected because, deep down, I had gotten used to him being around. We were starting to feel like... a family.

I grabbed my face cleanser, massaging it into my skin and neck before rinsing it off with a damp cloth. My heart wasn’t in it anymore—this constant dance of denying what I felt, pretending I didn’t want more from him. I wanted Mark with an intensity that scared me.

After brushing my teeth, I climbed into bed. The emptiness of it was like a cold reminder of everything I was missing. How amazing would it be to have Mark here, filling not just this bedbut this space in my life? I ached for him—for the warmth of his body pressed against mine, for his presence to calm the storm of emotions I’d been trying to suppress. I knew I couldn’t settle for a loveless marriage, but what did that do with me getting what I wanted right now?

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