Page 49 of Essence of his Soul

“You did a great job with your students,” Malcolm continued, looking over at them. “They were fantastic.”

I nodded, trying to focus on the here and now, on Malcolm and his kindness. But it was hard when my mind kept drifting back to Mark. I hated that I was comparing the two, that I couldn’t just let myself be happy with what I had right before me. Malcolm was everything I’d thought I wanted—stable, successful, sweet. But he wasn’t Mark.

“Thanks, I’m really proud of them,” I managed to say, though my voice sounded distant even to my own ears.

Malcolm reached out and gently touched my arm, concern flickering in his eyes. “You okay? You seem a little... distracted since I’ve returned from California.”

I forced another smile, pushing aside the thoughts threatening to overwhelm me. “Yes, I’m fine. Just a little tired, I guess. It’s been a long week.”

He nodded, accepting my answer, but I could tell he wasn’t entirely convinced. And the truth was, neither was I.

As the rest of the assembly continued, I went through the motions—clapping at the right moments and smiling when I was supposed to. But all the while, my thoughts kept returning to Mark. To the complicated, frustrating, infuriating feelings he stirred in me every time we were in the same room.

I wished I could make it stop and turn off whatever it was that kept pulling me back to him. But it wasn’t that simple. Not when Tyler was involved, not when there was a part of me—no matter how small—that still hoped Mark could be the man I needed him to be.

And as much as I tried to convince myself otherwise, thatpart of me wasn’t ready to let go.

Chapter 13

“Whatever Essence and I decide is between us,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady, even though I was already on edge.

Kelly rolled her eyes like she’d heard it all before. “Sure, it is. Just like your decision to leave for two years and pretend like she no longer existed.”

I didn’t even bother responding to that. Instead, I got up from the green mid-century modern sofa, feeling my frustration boiling over. I was running out of options and time. “She said no,” I said, hating how those words tasted.

Kelly kissed Tyler before lowering him to the living room floor. “Then make her say yes,” she shot back, her voice laced with concern.

I sighed, closing my eyes for a second, trying to think. “And how do you expect me to do that?”

I moved to the window, staring out at the snow-covered streets. The whole neighborhood looked like a damn winter postcard, all peaceful and calm, while I felt like I was drowning in this mess.

"I don’t know, but you better figure it out before Malcolm knocks you out of the race,” Kelly said, her voice all serious like she was delivering some hard truth I wasn’t ready to hear.

I swung around, my face tightening up as I thought about Malcolm. Just thinking about him was enough to set me off. This afternoon, I’d dropped Tyler off with Kelly before heading to the school to catch the assembly. I was ready to see Essence in her element, doing her thing with those kids. I could see the pride all over her face from where I was sitting, and for a moment, all I wanted was to be the one to walk over and tell her how amazingshe was.

But then I saw him—Malcolm. Right there by her side, like he belonged there. The sight of his arm around Essence was like a punch to the gut, making my blood boil. It was a different kind of rage, something I hadn’t even felt when I caught Carmen cheating on me. This was deeper, more personal. Essence wasn’t just some woman. She was the mother of my child, and seeing Malcolm in my spot felt like an insult I wasn’t willing to take.

I was ready to storm over there and remind Malcolm exactly who she belonged to, but something stopped me. Maybe it was the children or knowing I’d make a scene on school property, but I turned and walked out of that gymnasium instead. But the anger didn’t leave me. If anything, it was simmering just beneath the surface, waiting for the right moment to explode.

Kelly was still watching me, waiting for me to say something, but what was there to say? She and I knew it—I couldn’t let this slide. Essence was mine, and I wasn’t about to let Malcolm think he had a chance at taking her from me.

“Why don’t you let me watch Tyler while you and Essence have a night out?” Kelly suggested, trying to break through my thoughts.

I moved back to the sofa, settling into the seat. “When did you become a romantic? I don’t see men lining up at your door,” I shot back, trying to lighten the mood.

She waved me off. “I’ve got issues, but this isn’t about me.”

“No arguments there,” I chuckled. Kelly was a force to be reckoned with, and most men couldn’t handle it. They were drawn to her like moths to a flame, but she’d chew them up and spit them out before they knew what hit them.

“Anyway, we’re not here to discuss me,” she countered, quickly steering the conversation back to me.

“You’re right,” I said, glancing over at Tyler, who happily played with his building blocks on her sage carpet.

Kelly shifted on the sofa, tucking her legs under her like she was settling in for the long haul. “Now, let’s work on a plan.”

I chuckled. “I thought I was the big brother?”

“Yeah, but you suck at love,” she said, her voice dripping with blunt honesty.

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