Page 30 of Essence of his Soul

“Why don’t you hand over your keys so I can warm up the car?” I offered, hoping to ease her mind.

“They’re right there.” She pointed to a set of keys hanging on the corkboard beside the refrigerator.

“How come you don’t park in the garage?” I asked, genuinely curious.

She shrugged, a little exasperation in her voice. “Because the door is old, heavy, and too much trouble.”

I nodded, grabbed the keys, and slipped on my jacket while thinking about how good this all felt—just like it should be.

* * *

I scooped Tyler up from his highchair, laughing as I swung him into my arms. “Give Momma a kiss.” He planted a big, sloppy kiss on my lips and grinned. I smoothed back his curls, feeling the warmth of his little body against mine. “Be good, sweetheart.” I carried him into the living room, kissed him, and gently set him down in his playpen.

As I turned to the window, I caught sight of Mark outside, scraping the ice off my windshield. A warm sensation spread through me, filling me with comfort. He was doing something simple, something thoughtful, but it meant a lot. It felt like he belonged here with me and Tyler, slipping seamlessly into our lives. He was taking control in a way that made it harder and harder to stick to my decision not to marry him. But I was determined. I wanted love and marriage, the real thing, or nothing at all.

I returned to my room, glancing in the mirror to check my makeup. I added another coat of lipstick and brushed my hair, taming the strands that had escaped my bun. Mark was in the foyer when I returned, wiping his feet on the rug. He looked up as I entered the room.

“Has your car been winterized?” he asked, catching me off guard.

“Uh...no,” I admitted, surprised at his thoughtfulness.

Mark frowned, his expression serious. “I’ll make you an appointment. Tomorrow, you can drive my vehicle.”

“My car is fine,” I insisted, not wanting to be a burden.

“No, it’s not...so don’t argue with me. If you don’t do it for me, do it for Tyler.”

He knew exactly how to get me to listen, and with that, the argument was over.

“All right, fine.” I reached into the hall closet and pulled out my long camel wool coat. Mark stepped forward to help me into it, his hands warm on my shoulders as he adjusted the collar. “Thanks,” I said, picking up my briefcase. I glanced at Tyler, seeing him happily occupied with his toys, and headed toward the door.

“See you later, Mark,” I said as I walked out, feeling the weight of his presence and the uncertainty that came with it. Mark lowered his hand to the knob and paused before opening it.

“Is that how you say goodbye?”

Before I could prepare, he pulled me in his arms and kissed me—a deep, delving kiss, a meeting of lips and tongues. My entire body came to life, every nerve, every muscle. He held me close and kissed me the way I had wanted him to since he had entered the house this morning. Before I lost control, I stepped back, letting my arms fall to my sides.

“Have a nice day,” Mark said as he opened the door, his voice warm and sincere.

Stunned, I just nodded, ignoring the flutter in my chest as I stepped out. With every act of kindness, every lingering kiss, he was making it harder for me to keep him at arm’s length.

As I drove to school, I gripped the steering wheel tightly.I’m in trouble,I thought, the realization hitting me hard. My relationship with Mark was starting to develop into something much more than I had ever imagined. And honestly, I was beginning to wonder if I was strong enough to fight it. For the last few days, he had managed to keep his hands to himself,but today, he kissed me. That kiss had thrown me off balance, leaving me unsure of what to think or expect next. Would he respect the boundaries I’d tried to set, or would he pull me into his arms and break down every last one?

The truth that I hated to admit, even to myself, was that I wanted him. I’d always wanted him. Mark was under my skin, in my blood—no matter how hard I tried, he was always there. Two years of trying to push him out of my mind hadn’t done any good because, deep down, I still wanted him. And the worst part was, whenever I closed my heart to him, he always seemed to find a way to crack it open again. He was invading my life and my space, and I knew that unless I held my ground, it would only be a matter of time before he broke through my defenses and recaptured my heart.

Once I pull into the parking lot. I vanished thoughts of Mark aside and hurried up the sidewalk, anxious to escape the cold. I pushed open the door to the school, the familiar scent of floor cleaner and chalk instantly grounding me, but it did nothing to quiet the storm brewing in my mind. The halls were still empty, as I liked it before the day's chaos began. I had enough time to grab a coffee and read the morning news before my students flooded in with boundless energy and endless questions.

As I walked down the hallway, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I glanced at the screen and felt a twinge of guilt when I saw Malcolm’s name flashing. I hadn’t returned any calls, and I knew he’d notice. Sighing, I answered, knowing I couldn’t avoid him any longer.

“Hey, Malcolm,” I said, trying to sound upbeat, but my voice came out more strained than I intended.

“Essence, I was starting to think you were avoiding me,” Malcolm’s voice was calm, but there was an edge of concern underneath. “I’ve called you a few times.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” I replied, forcing a smile even though hecouldn’t see it. “It’s just been… crazy around here. You know how it is with the holidays coming up and all.”

“Yes, I get that,” he said, but I could tell he wasn’t convinced. “Are you okay? You sound a little off.”

I hesitated, glancing around the empty hallway as if someone might overhear the thoughts running wild in my head. How was I supposed to tell him that Tyler’s father was back in town and his presence was messing with everything I thought I had under control? Whenever I saw Mark, my mind went into overdrive, replaying memories and imagining possibilities I had no business entertaining.

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