Page 34 of Courting Clemson

“All right,” I answered much quieter now.

For some reason, hearing what she’d just said made me question if I was okay doing this. Was I putting myself in harm’s way? I thought by using an agency rather than going out on my own, I would be safer. But the bottom line was no matter who a girl went out on a date with, or how the date was set up, she was always putting herself at a measured amount of risk by meeting up with a stranger—or even someone they knew.

It’s not like I hadn’t thought of these things before, but hearing her verbalize them made me take pause. Immediately, I reminded myself about the situation with my scholarship and not having money for tuition next semester.

I don’t have much of a choice, do I?

“You still with me?” Solei asked.

After swallowing the lump in my throat, I answered, “Yes, I’m here. So what are the next steps?” I wanted to be enthusiastic without sounding desperate, and I felt like I was really toeing that line right now.

“Well, I would like to work on your introduction a little bit more, and then we will activate your account. You can expect a lot of messages in the first couple of days. We find that when we post new girls’ profiles, their inboxes get flooded. Remember also that it may take a few meet-and-greets to find a good match. We are all still humans, and we don’t mesh with everyone. That is perfectly normal.”

We spent a good amount of time fine-tuning my introduction. My mentor had years of experience and knew a lot of keywords and phrases to use that would, as she explained, attract the right guy.

God, I hoped she was right. The worst part about dating was those first few dates. At least in my experience. I was always so excited yet nervous at the same time and questioned my judgement afterward, wondering if I had blinkers on that made me just see the good things and ignore any early warning signs. Especially when a relationship didn’t work out, I’d look back and think, man, I saw that coming. Should’ve listened to my gut.

Solei’s advice seemed even more poignant. She said to trust my instincts, and I already knew it was something I didn’t have a lot of confidence in my ability to do.

Maybe telling Grace about this adventure was more a necessity than a comfort. I had been thinking it would be great to have someone I trusted to talk with throughout the process and share the experience with—now I was thinking it was more of a must for my own protection.

Ending the phone call with Solei, I went to find my roommate. I got to my door and paused. What if she tried to talk me out of it? Well, it was too late for that because my profile would be live in the next hour. I didn’t think she’d be judgmental about my decision, but what if she was? Would it cause a rift in our friendship? No more than straight-up lying to her about what I was up to.

Yeah, I needed to tell her.

Once again, she was curled up on the sofa watching TV. I sank down on it in the small space remaining next to her feet.

“Do you want more room?” she asked and started to sit up.

“No, stay where you are. I’m fine here.”

She stared at the screen, so I waited for a commercial before I started the conversation. I knew how seriously she took a lot of the shows she watched, so I tried to be respectful and not interrupt with my life crisis.

Finally, the show cut to a break, and I asked, “Hey, can we talk about something? Can you pause this? I don’t want you to miss anything, but I really need to talk to you.”

“Yeah, sure,” she said and sat up. “What’s going on? You sound so serious.”

“Nothing to worry about. I just want to talk about a decision I made. I’m thinking I’m really going to need some support while I do this, and you’re the only person I’d want that from.”

“That’s so sweet, but you’re freaking me out at the same time. Are you sick or something? No, wait…are you leaving school? Oh, Clemson, nooooo!” she wailed dramatically.

“No, no, that’s not it. I’m not leaving. In fact, I’m doing everything I can think of to stay. But that is what this is about. Please don’t freak when I ask this, okay?”

“Ooohhhkaaay,” she said cautiously. “You know”—she eyed me sideways with a smile—“no one likes conversations that start that way, right?”

I nodded. “I know. But I don’t know how to ease into this conversation gently.”

My roommate scooped my hands up in hers, nearly climbing on top of me to sit closer. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

“Have you heard of sugar dating?” I asked.

She just stared at me. For what seemed like many long minutes, she didn’t respond, just stared. Finally, she began to answer and then stopped herself. Went through that process again until she finally spoke.

“I have.” She looked at me with her head tilted to one side like she was trying to figure me out.

“I submitted an application to an agency, and my profile goes live tonight. It was the quickest way I could come up with the money I need. The quickest legal way, at least.”

My joke didn’t change the worried expression on her face.

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