Page 35 of Courting Clemson

“I can earn enough to live and go to school and not get my parents involved,” I said. “I’m only going to do it until I have enough for the semester. I figure I can come up with something to tell my folks about housing and see if they might give me money for that—if I need to.”

Again, she just sat and quietly observed me. I didn’t like the scrutiny. At all.

“Are you going to say anything?” I blurted after I couldn’t take the quiet anymore.

“Well, yes. I’m just trying to think of how to word everything I’m thinking. I mean, Clemson, that’s a pretty big bomb you just dropped.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I wanted to keep it to myself, but the more I thought about it, the more my anxiety was ramping up. If just thinking about the whole thing is making me that anxious, what is doing it going to be like?”

“Are you sure it’s something you can go through with? I mean, in all honesty, men are going to want to have sex with you. You realize that, right?”

“I know there is a possibility that it will come up, but I’m in control of everything. The agency I signed up with said they don’t promote transactional physical relations?—”

“Because that’s prostitution,” she said plainly. “But isn’t that what they have to say officially but it’s really a sort of wink-wink thing? Like everyone knows what’s really going on, right?”

“No, seriously. If I feel like a relationship is at a place where I want to have sex with the guy, then I can. But my mentor, Solei, said that no client should ever ask for sex, especially at first. If one does, I’m to report him immediately, and he will be let go from his contract with them.”

“I don’t know, Clem. Are you sure this is the only option you have? What about a real job?”

“Have you ever looked for a job? It’s ridiculous. I put so many résumés and applications out there, and the few I heard back from only offered minimum wage and part-time hours. I literally have no experience or marketable skills.”

“Don’t sell yourself so short,” she said, trying to be encouraging. And I loved her for that. The reality of the situation was just what it was, though.

“It was a real eye-opener. I’m wondering why I even want to finish college in the first place, though. What is going to change after graduation other than I’ll have a piece of paper that all the other graduates will have? Nothing will make me stand out in the crowd. I don’t see it being any different in a few years.”

“I hadn’t really thought that far ahead,” she admitted.

“None of us have,” I added. “We’re programmed from grade school on that this is the path to take to be successful. When’s the last time you spoke to someone who just graduated? What luck have they had landing an actual job?”

“If that’s true, and it makes total sense that it would be, how slim are the odds an available job would also be in your chosen field?” Grace piled on.

“Exactly! I think super low,” I said, continuing on this tangent.

“That’s good food for thought, for sure. Pretty depressing meal though, you know?”

“Trust me, I know. Like I said, job hunting this week was very eye-opening.”

“Okay, so why put yourself at risk doing this dating situation with strangers to earn money to continue something you’re not completely behind?”

It was a valid question.

“For now, I don’t know another option. And facing my parent’s wrath after telling them I’m giving up on school is not something I’m prepared for right now. If I end up making that decision, I need to be financially secure beforehand, because I’m pretty sure they would disown me.”

“Really? Over not wanting to finish college?” Grace asked skeptically.

“It’s a pretty big deal to my dad. He’s definitely in the camp that believes you need to have a degree to make anything of yourself.”

We sat quietly then, both lost in our own thoughts. I stared at the paused show on the television screen but wasn’t seeing the picture there. Lost in my head, I imagined what it would be like to go on my first meet-and-greet and couldn’t deny the excitement I felt in my stomach.

Finally, Grace checked back in. “When did you say this is starting? I lost the details amid the shock of the subject matter.”

“My profile will go live tonight sometime, and then I just read the incoming messages and look at the guys’ profiles. If I want to have a conversation with one, there is a specific chat client for that. From there we can set up a date when we feel ready.”

“Are you nervous?” she asked.

“A little, but it feels more like excitement. Some girls make thousands each month. Can you imagine? Just for going on dates and having conversations with lonely men?” I shook my head. When I said it out loud, it seemed too good to be true.

Grace must have felt the same. “Why don’t these guys just date the traditional way?”

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