Page 133 of Desolation

The girls look so happy to see him. Olivia is wrapped around his neck and Makayla is blabbering on about the tides and how gravity from the moon and sun affect them.

I can feel his eyes on me. I search deep down inside myself for anger. Because I can’t let my heart win right now. I can’t let it think it’s all going to be okay.

“How did you find us?” I ask with a lot less grit than I wanted.

He smirks at me and I could punch him in the face. “You do remember I work with Dax?”

“He would not have told you where I was.”

“He was sick of you being miserable.”

Dammit Dax.I am going to murder him.

“I’m not miserable.” I put my book in my bag and start collecting our things. “Girls, leave him alone. We should get going anyway. Abuelita said she was making lasagna.”

“Your mom moved here too?”

I ignore him. Makayla mumbles under her breath as she picks up toys. Olivia refuses to let go of Landon. “Mom, you said Abuelita had a date tonight and we were going to get tacos.”

Fuck. I did not think she overheard that phone conversation.

“Date, huh? What a lucky man.”

Olivia giggles at Landon and he starts to tickle her. My heart beat picks up as I watch this man with my children. A man that never wanted any and he treats them like his own after only a few days with them.

“She canceled.”

Landon puts Olivia down and walks over to me. “Mar.”

I shake my head at that damn name, tears making their way to my eyes and I can’t find the power to push them away.

His hands cup my face, his thumbs brushing away the tears.

“I can’t keep doing this with you, Landon.”

“Neither can I.”

“Then why are you here? I’ve heard you tell me you can’t do this enough times. I can’t hear it anymore. My heart can’t take it.” I sniffle and pull away from him, turning my back.

“I talked to my therapist.”

“You’ve been seeing a therapist?” I ask as I turn back around to face him.

“Yeah, turns out I had a lot of things I needed to work out. I started seeing one when I came back from Boston.” He grips the back of his neck. “She, ugh, she helped me through all the shit that I let tear me down. We talk about you a lot too. She said pushing you away wasn’t going to solve my problems.”

I can’t hear this. “Girls, let’s go.”

“Mar, please. Just listen.”

“Landon, you broke my heart. I was ready to fight for you, for us. Consequences be damned. I would have done whatever it took to have a life with you and my girls. But you threw it away like what we had was nothing but a crumpled piece of paper full of broken promises.”

“I know I did. And I had a lot to work through to understand what I did to you. To us. I told you before I was a fool for not wanting to let you go. Well, turns out I was a fool for not fighting for you.” He grabs my hands but keeps his distance. “You brought out the best in me and I need you in my life. You are my sea. My calling.”

“Oh, come on, Mom,” Makayla groans. “Just kiss him already. I am tired of seeing you mope around the house.”

I snap my head to my daughter. She is smiling as she looks between the two of us.

“You think I didn’t know that you two were boyfriend and girlfriend a year ago? It was so obvious. I’m sure even Olivia knew.”

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