Page 132 of Desolation

“I’m glad you did.”

“I can’t do this with you again, Mariela.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ll end up walking away again and breaking your heart.” I watch her as she fights back tears. I know she was hoping if she found me we could go back to where we left off. But I can’t. My heart isn’t ready for that yet. “Go back to Boston, Mari.”

“I don’t live there anymore.”

I clench my jaw. “You thought if you moved here we could live that dream we had?”

“Yes.”

“We can’t.”

She stands up straighter before she speaks. “One truth?”

Fuck me. I should say no but I can’t. I nod at her.

“Was there ever any hope for us?”

“No,” I force out.

She lets out a long shuddering breath and turns away from me. “Okay.”

That’s all she says and then walks away. Like she knew I was going to say no. I ignore the pain in my chest, the feeling that I made another mistake. But I know I couldn’t have. This is the right thing to do.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Mari

I watch my kids run in circles on the sand of Moonlight Beach. We moved to San Diego two months ago. As soon as Michael’s father was convicted, I left the state. Turns out Michael wasn’t involved in the laundering. But he was the one that forged that document years ago to put my name on Duthmoor. It was the only way his father would agree for him to marry me. It’s why he was against the divorce. He really was trying to protect me. His father would have turned on me the second it happened. I would have been convicted of everything instead of his father.

Michael finally agreed to the divorce after he saw what the case was doing to me and the girls and he knew I wasn’t going to be taken down by his father. He knew our marriage was failing and he took the blame. It kept the divorce from being ugly and we managed to keep it out of the public eye for the most part.

I was able to move my foundation offices out here. Rebecca recovered from her injuries and we spent months repairing our friendship and coming to terms with what happened to both of us. She was just as happy to move out here and escape her life back east as I was. She still struggles with what happened to her and I can only hope the sun and the ocean will heal her like they have done for me.

The girls adjusted well to the move. It was hard explaining to them why their father and I got a divorce. And I could only say so much. Makayla seemed to understand and why wouldn’t she? I swear that girl is going to attempt to graduate high school at fifteen.

Olivia took it a lot harder. She already suffered from her dad not being around as much when he was in DC. She didn’t understand that she wasn’t going to see him as often as before since I was awarded full custody but my mom helped explain it better. It helps that she moved here with us.

The girls are both in therapy. It breaks my heart to think this is what their lives have become but I know it’s for the best. Just watching them now I can tell they are happier than when we left Boston. Olivia even made friends with kids in the neighborhood. One of the things I will always thank Landon for even if he doesn’t know it.

I close my eyes as I think of him. I was hoping I would run into him at the hospital but they told me he stopped volunteering after Henry passed. I haven’t tried to contact him since I found him at the cemetery six weeks ago. He sent me one text a few weeks back. It just said,I’m sorryand I chose not to respond. I know he is dealing with his own demons and I need to let him go. Even Dax keeps his mouth shut about him.

I pick my book back up as I let the sun bronze my skin. The giggle of the girls, the perfect melody in the background. Olivia squeals and I shake my head as I turn the page.

“Teddy bear,” she shouts.

“Little bear.” The timbre of Landon’s voice causes me to drop my book.

My shades are still covering my eyes so I pretend not to look at him but it’s hard not to. Looking at him now, I need to keep my jaw off the floor. He’s shirtless, sweat dripping down his body. There is no way he could have run here. It’s over ten miles from his home. And even if he did, it’s too much of a coincidence.

He looks even better than he did before. His chest bigger, his muscles more defined. The sadness that was in his eyes is gone.

Yet, I can’t think about that. He broke my heart. Twice. And I can’t let it happen a third time. I walked away from him last time. Because it was what we both needed.

That’s a lie you can keep telling yourself.

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