Page 61 of Protecting Bianca

“When?”

“When I realized I wasn’t going to prison. I wanted you to know that I wasn’t a complete fuck up. I wanted you to think well of me.”

“Oh, Jager. I never received that letter.”

“I know that now. I wished I’d known it then. I think I would have taken fewer risks when I was out there.”

“God, I can’t even think about that. How you must have felt. How betrayed you were and how unfeeling I must have seemed to you.”

“Not unfeeling. Just unforgiving. But I convinced myself that I had deserved it for not choosing you first.”

I put my hands on either side of Jager’s face. “I’m sorry you went through that without me. I’m sorry you ever doubted how much I loved you.”

The words spilled out without me thinking about them. It was an apology I hadn’t prepared, but now that I said it, I couldn’ttake the words back. I’d meant them. I loved him then, and I was in danger of falling in love with him again.

Jager pressed his lips to mine and filled my heart with his sigh. When he pulled away, he looked into my eyes, pleading, “Don’t go home. Come back to my place. I can’t let you go.”

“I don’t want to go home. I want to stay with you.”

He pulled me in for another kiss, this time deeper and slower than the other. My head spun from all the revelations, but none affected me more than knowing that Jager had always cared about me. He hadn’t just walked away.

He reluctantly broke from the kiss and started his car. He held my hand and pressed his lips to it while he drove to his place. It soothed my heart, and a little of my anger toward River. But only a little.

I knew Jager lived on Park Avenue, but I hadn’t realized he lived on the top floor of one of the most luxurious buildings I’d ever seen. Large flower bouquets lined the entrance and rich woods and granites lined the walls. Jager inserted a card to press the penthouse button in the elevator, pulled me against him, and kissed my neck as we ascended to his apartment.

The thumbprint scanner at his door surprised me more than it should have, but everything seemed new suddenly. Perhaps because I’d never imagined being here until this weekend.

“Make yourself comfortable while I grab you a bottle of water,” he said after opening the door. “You’ve had quite the shock.”

“So have you,” I said, walking up to the windows. “Wow, this view is incredible!”

“Thank you.” He passed me the bottle, having opened it already. I sipped the water slowly. It was European and somehow tasted better.

“Fancy,” I said with a smile.

He smiled, too. “What can I get you to eat? You must be starving.”

I was hungry, now that he mentioned it. “Do you want to order a pizza?”

“I can do that. Anything else?”

“I wouldn’t say no to wings.”

He chuckled. “Of course. Give me a minute to call the concierge.”

“The concierge. I can order a pizza and wings on my phone.”

“Yes. But then we’d have to stop what we’re doing to open the door for delivery.” He walked up to me, put the bottle I was holding onto the table, and wrapped my arms around his neck. “And I plan to keep you occupied for the next hour while we wait.”

“Oh, that’s smooth,” I said and pulled his face down to mine. “Real smooth.” I kissed him and he pressed me closer to him, feeling how much he wanted me.

The sensation turned me on, and I looked up at this much larger, muscular, confident man than the boy I’d loved and realized I wanted him more now than I ever did. I wanted him to know how much I regretted the past and all the years that we had wasted, and that if I could take it all back, I would. If I could strangle my brother, I would.

So, I dropped to my knees and looked up.

Jager stood frozen, as though confused at first, and then surprised.

He bent down to grab my hand. “B, you don’t have to do that.”

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