“She’s a grown woman now. She can do what she wants.”
I thought my molars would crack under the pressure I put them through. I could have torn a strip of leather off of a belt, Iwas so fucking mad. “Nah. That’s not it. It’s more personal than that. You didn’t want your sister datingme.”
As soon as the words came out, I knew they were true. River’s left eye twitched, and he held the beer to his lips for several seconds before taking a sip.
“Why?” I asked.
He drank his beer and reached for the remote.
“At least have the balls to tell me the truth.” I stood there and seethed.
“Why can’t you let this go? You were teenagers. It wasn’t like you were going to get married. You act like I ruined your life or something. It was a long time ago. Let it go.”
He was right. We had flirted for years but only been dating exclusively for eight months. I hadn’t thought about marriage or anything beyond spending time with Bianca back then, but there was something I couldn’t explain. A feeling in my gut that couldn’t let this go. I felt as though he’d robbed me of something I could never get back.
“Were you jealous?”
He scoffed. “Of you!”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t be an asshole. I wasn’t jealous of you.”
“You hated that I always got the girl. I’d kissed a woman before you did, had sex before you did—”
“That’s not it,” River said, his eyes narrowing as he watched whatever was on the television.
“You knew you could stop me from dating this one girl and you did it. You selfish bastard.”
He slammed his beer on the table in front of him and turned his stormy eyes to me. “I didn’t do it to spite you. I did it to protect her!”
Heat rushed from my neck to my cheeks. “From me? I’d never hurt her. You know I’d never do that to a woman.” The insult only fueled my anger.
“She had been through a lot. She needed someone safe. You were reckless. You took stupid risks and nearly got yourself arrested with the Feds.”
I couldn’t argue with that. I couldn’t tell him he was wrong. Maybe I wasn’t good enough for Bianca then. “Well, a lot has changed since high school.”
“Yeah, I know. You’re a big deal now. You rub elbows with politicians and celebrities. You’re probably richer than Bill Gates. But that doesn’t change who you are. I don’t think you’ll ever change, Jager. You live off of the adrenaline. You don’t ever play it safe. And I don’t think you ever will. I told you this ten years ago, and I’m saying it again now. Stay away from my sister.”
The words echoed in my head.Stay away from my sister. My body reacted the same way it did then. I wanted to tell him to fuck off, but a part of me knew what he said was right. I was all of those things, and he was just looking out for Bianca. But I also knew in my heart that I would never hurt her. “Whatever, man. I won’t bring it up again. And after tonight, consider this discussion over.” Then I leaned down over his beer and looked him in the eyes. “But just so you know. I would protect your sister with my life.”
River picked up his beer and the remote again. “I know. That’s why you’re here. But that’s where it’s got to end.”
I nodded and swallowed my anger and indignation. I walked over to the door and let myself out. I felt no relief after having that conversation with River. There wasn’t a sense of closure. Instead, it felt as though a wound had been torn open. All those past insecurities rose to the surface, and it felt as though I couldn’t breathe.
As I drove back to my apartment, I ran through all the reasons River was right about me. I convinced myself that I was no good for Bianca. Besides, there was no obvious interest from her end. She behaved professionally and courteously to me. Never once had she flirted since I’d returned to her life.
I mindlessly tore off my clothes and hopped into the shower. The adrenaline of emotions burned through me as though I’d run a marathon. Pressing my palms against the wet tiles, I let the cold water hit my scalp and fall down my neck and back, sending goosebumps across my skin until my body adjusted to the temperature. The fog cleared from my head and the cold shower had the desired effect of cooling my temper and emotions.
By the time I sat in front of my computer, I was focused once again on finding that delivery man.
I pulled up my laptop and checked the face recognition software’s progress. It had been running for a few hours now, but still no hit. It would take a while to go through the New York police database and the social profiles. And if that didn’t come up with a match, I’d run it through the FBI’s Most Wanted list.
And if that didn’t work, there were some less ethical programs I could use. Ones that used street cams placed by people who didn’t work in law enforcement. But they kept tabs on the neighborhood, nonetheless. I could tap into their services without them being any wiser for it.
As I waited for the program to do its thing, I received a call from Will. “Hey, boss.”
Will started the bodyguard business, and we often joked that he was our boss, even though he’d never taken any credit for bringing us all together. He said we all had our roles to play.