Page 77 of Protecting Bianca

I’d never cried before and hoped I never would. But in that moment, the tears washed away so much resentment and anger in me that I couldn’t regret them. Even though now the emotion waned, and embarrassment crept in.

I cleared my throat. “Thank you. For being here for me.”

Jake squeezed my shoulder. “Always.”

I rubbed my face and dried my hands on my pants. My head felt clearer, and my shoulders lighter. A thought popped into mymind. “I think we should have a tribute for him.”

“A tribute? Like a plaque?” asked Jake.

I thought about the plaque. “I don’t know. Not really a plaque, but something.”

The room fell silent as we thought about it. “We should fund a program for lost veterans and their families. I’m sure Christina will help us get it started,” said Will.

“That’s a great idea,” said Christian. “In the meantime, what if we convert one of the empty offices into his? We put his name on the door and put up pictures of him with his family. I think I saw a couple on his wife’s Facebook page. We can ask her for permission.”

“I was always going to ask him to be a part of our business, so that feels right.”

“I love it,” said Jake. “He’ll always be here with us, not just in memory, but in tribute.”

I loved it, too. I thought about Jordan every day. Perhaps if I allowed myself to think about him during the day and acknowledge who he was instead of trying to forget about it and bury it, I could sleep at night.

“Want to help me clear the boxes from the office?” asked Will.

“I don’t want to waste another minute without him here.”

“Let’s do it,” said Jake.

Will slapped my shoulder as we walked out of the kitchen. I’d carried grief with me for so long, but now I felt something stronger—kinship. I knew we may not have blood to bind us together, but water could float a ship, and it was strong enough to bind this friendship and lift me higher.

19

Bianca

The next few days were a blur. Jager came home that first night and cooked up a storm for dinner. He laughed and teased, and I saw a lighter side of him I hadn’t seen since we were kids. I loved it. And I loved him. He was so patient with me. He gave me space when I wanted it, and comfort when I didn’t even know I needed it.

But later that week, after we’d returned from seeing a few properties with my realtor, he sat and stared at me across the kitchen table. His brow furrowed and his hands clasped in front of his face. I knew he had a question on his mind. “Just spit it out, Jager,” I laughed. “Your eyes are weighing heavy on me.”

“You’re probably going to tell me to fuck off and mind my own business, but I’m going to say it anyway.”

“All right. No promises, but go ahead.” I leaned back in my chair with a grin on my face.

“I think you should talk to your mother.”

The grin fell fast. “What?”

“Hear me out.”

“I’m trying to, but it’s hard right now.”

“You inspired me to talk to my brothers and get to the bottom of my guilt and anger. I think your issues with your brother stem from the issues with your mother.”

“I agree.”

“You do?”

“Yes. But there’s no fixing the issues with my mother. I’ve tried. She doesn’t listen.”

He sighed and leaned back in his chair, too. “Shit. I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized you’ve tried talking to her already.”

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