Page 78 of Protecting Bianca

“I’ve tried so many times. She pretends to listen to me, but she’s only waiting for her turn to speak. It’s as though I’ve recited the encyclopedia to her instead of pouring out my heart.”

He nodded. “That must have been difficult.”

“It was. And so were the weeks afterward.” I closed my eyes, recalling the last time we spoke and how it turned into a shouting match quickly.

“Just forget I mentioned it, then.”

I nodded, but I couldn’t do it.

For the rest of the night, no matter how many TV shows Jager suggested or dessert places he recommended, I was in no mood for any of it. I just kept thinking… ‘What if this time was different?’ ‘What if I gave it one more try?’

I would shake off the notion and try to focus on what Jager was saying, but my mind wandered.Maybe I was different this time. Maybe I was ready.

I was washing my face before bed Wednesday night when I turned to Jager in the mirror. “I think I’m going to call my mother tomorrow.”

He stopped brushing his teeth and stared at me. Spitting the toothpaste from his mouth, he said, “All right. Do you want me to come with you?”

“No. I should go alone. And unannounced. Last time, she had my sister there for reinforcements. I just want it to be the two of us this time.”

“Do you think surprising her like that is a good idea?”

“The way you asked that makes me think you don’t believe so.”

“Being surprised like that might make her standoffish.”

“Maybe.”

He put his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. “If at any point you don’t feel comfortable or feel attacked, get out of there.”

“She’s never raised her hand at me.”

“Emotional wounds can hurt as much as physical ones, and last longer. Trust me, I know.”

I kissed him. “I’m proud of how you’ve dealt with what’s happened in your past and for sharing it with me.”

He kissed me back, slowly, pressing my body against his naked torso.

“Do you know that you’ve slept the whole night these past few days?”

He nodded. “I did. I don’t want to put too much pressure on it, but I think it’s the sex.”

I laughed and playfully smacked his shoulder. “You know it’s not. It’s the talk with your brothers.”

He tilted his head. “And… the sex.”

I laughed harder this time. “Fine. It’s the great sex.”

“Thank you for calling it great.”

“Don’t let it get to your head.”

He grabbed my hand and put it between his legs. “Too late.”

And just like that, thoughts of my mother disappeared until the next day when I climbed into my car to pay her an unexpected visit.

It took a few extra minutes for the car to start this morning. There was frost on the roofs of the houses, but no snow yet. I rubbed my hands together as I waited for the car to warm up.

My phone rang. It was Jager. “Hey.”

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