Page 41 of The Fox

Back to home.

My eyes flutter, and I feel the desire to open my eyes get stronger. A hand is now brushing hair from my face. I feel soft touches to my lips, barely lingering. Those same lips kiss my eyelids, then my nose in the most heartbreaking way. It feels as if they are afraid I would shatter like glass.

“Kochanie. Wake up, baby. I know you can do it. Come back home, and let me see those grey eyes.”

My body is so heavy. A squeeze against my hand, butterfly kisses dotting my nose and eyelids once again. I want to go home, to be back with Parker, Lennon, and Rhodes.

I want to be with Rhodes Alexander. I want to be his.

I slowly open my eyes, blinking several times, and find an expanse of blue staring down at me. Everything within me breaks. There are tears in his eyes, and Rhodes grips my face in his calloused hands. I smell him, the leather and clove I’ve come to crave surrounding me.

“I have you, Amelia. I have you.”

Rhodes.

I am frantic, and I start to grab his forearms before a nurse walks in to check the alarming monitor attached to me. It is as if the room is shrinking in on me, and I cannot find the way out. I can feel my heart pounding like drums echoing on the plains, my breaths are shallow.I can’t breathe, and the noises around me sound like I’m underwater.

No. Rhodes can’t be here. My demons can’t find him.

Something is being pushed against my nose, and I fight it. I don’t want to be touched unless it is Rhodes touching me. My skin feels like it's on fire, and I itch like something is crawling on my skin. I keep clutching his arms, my fingers digging into the muscular flesh in an attempt to ground myself in the present.Keep it together, Amelia.Rhodes is the singular anchor I have to the light. If I let go, the darkness wins.

“This is oxygen, Amelia. Take a few deep breaths for me, dear.” I know that voice. She’s been here before too. I recognize her. “Nice and easy. You are alright, Amelia.” I feel the rush of the oxygen pushing through my nostrils, and I follow her lead. “You’re at St. Cecil’s, in the ICU.” I breathe, making sure I keep my breaths with hers. The crawling feeling lessens, and I feel the shadows slightly retreat. My vision returns to normal, and I see Rhodes, his forearm still in my clutches, and I have drawn blood from gripping him so tight.

Before I can apologize, he shakes his head.

“Don’t.”

I dip my head, focusing on the harsh lines of the blanket covering me. I pull my hands from him, trying to flex my fingers as I come back into my body. There is a fog I can’t shake, and I actually move my head back and forth in an attempt to clear it.

“Feeling foggy?” the nurse beside me asks kindly. “That is normal, dear. Let me run and get the doctor, okay? I’m sure this man here will be happy to stay with you, considering he hasn’t left yet.” She gestures at Rhodes before walking out of the room.

I can’t meet his eyes. I’ve hidden so much from him, and I don’t know where the landmines currently lay. Shame floods me as I feel the bed dip.

“Amelia,” he murmurs on a broken breath. “Look at me.” His knee is touching my thigh now, and it takes every ounce of willpower I have to not look at him. I don’t deserve to look at the reason my world spins. Not after what I’ve done and what I’ve kept from him.

“Eyes,kochanie.”

Fuck. Of course, he would use that against me. He knows I’m weak for that seemingly small statement. I feel my face flush and my eyes water, heat pricking at my eyelashes. I will not cry. I will not cry.

I. Will.Not.Cry.

I don’t have the ability to do anything other than meet his eyes, given that my body is not caught up with the rest of me just yet. His face is kind and full of concern, of understanding.Damn him.

“I nearly lost you. You almost didn’t come back, Amelia.”

My heart rips itself from my chest at his confession. I don’t know what to say, and thankfully, the nurse returns with the doctor following behind her. She tsks at Rhodes to give them space to run my vitals and a full assessment. Bright lights shine into my eyes, the prodding and tightening of cuffs continuous, and words float between them like secrets on the wind. Endless questions are thrown at me, testing my response time and cognitive recall.

I stare at Rhodes the entire time, refusing to leave him again. I notice in my peripherals that Duncan is hovering in the doorway, and my stomach sinks. I’m sure he has something he needs to relay but I can’t focus on anything yet. I’m also painfully aware that for Duncan, seeing me in this state only brings what happened years ago to the forefront of his mind.

“Do you remember what happened?” I break my eyes from Rhodes to stare at the doctor at the foot of my bed, frustration building in my body. I just want to go back to sleep, Rhodes’s arms around me as I nestle myself into his side. The doctor looks at me, expecting an answer to his question.

My eyes flick to Duncan. I don’t know how much the man sitting next to me has been told, but I’ll have to let Rhodes in at some point. I don’t have a reason to shut Rhodes out anymore. Ican’tshut him out any longer.

“I was ambushed.” A breath hitches next to me, and I feel the lithe muscles tense.This is going to fucking hurt him.“I was ambushed on my drive to the office. There was a-a car behind me, and I thought it odd how they wove themselves amid the traffic. I pulled off at the next exit, and they followed.”

“What the fuck?” Rhodes bursts out from my side.

I can’t stop now. I continue, knowing that the conversation I will have after this one will be more difficult.

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