Page 20 of All Our Ghosts

He rounds the bike and pats my shoulder a few times before heading back to whatever car he was working on before. My head dips forward, eyes sliding closed to suck in a breath. When they open, I catch the glow of her skin under the midday sun. The natural waves in her hair bouncing over her shoulders as she sips on her fifth cup of coffee this morning. Not that I’m counting, I just noticed that she clearly has a caffeine addiction.

“Nash, you keep starin’ any longer, at some point she’s gonna notice.”

“Shut up, Scottie.”

I hear the chuckle behind me and her eyes briefly meet my own. Even from this far I can see how green they are. I watch as her chest rises and falls with a heavy sigh, breaking eye contact and heading back into the shop. I remember the way she cowered from me last night, the way she shrunk in on herself to get away from me like I was going to hurt her. I wasn’t. I was shocked at her reaction, and for a moment, it threw me back to a time I refuse to remember. I hate the feeling she gave me at that moment. I’m not my father.

I’m angry at the fact that Cole thought I was actually going to hurt her, I’m not that man, but I can only imagine what Cole saw when I barreled through the doorway. An image that definitely wasn’t in my favor and I know that. It was just easier for me to stay the bad guy than try to explain.

Fuck. The glaring memory of me snatching her phone and throwing it invades me. That… I should never have done.

Still, there’s something about Kadence that both draws me in and makes me cautious. It's like she has this invisible warning sign flashing above her head that I’m doing everything I can not to ignore but lures me to her like a siren call. I can’t explain it.

I stand, tossing the rag onto the handlebars of the bike. I head out towards my bike, sliding my phone from my pocket.

“Oy! Where ya goin’?” Scottie asks from behind me.

“I didn’t realize I had a babysitter,” I bite, turning back to Scottie who raises his hands in mock surrender.

“No need to get touchy,” he mutters.

I shake my head as I leave the shop, taking one last glance at Kadence as she moves about the office, this time unaware of my gaze. I watch as she pushes back the hair that’s fallen over her shoulder, giving view to the crook of her neck, and suddenly I’m imagining what it would be like to bury myself into her soft skin, inhaling the vanilla and lavender that flooded me earlier when I had her up against the filing cabinet. Only to be reminded of the words she hissed at me like venom and the fact that I was now going to have to deal with a half-hard erection.

I glance down at my phone, scrolling through my contact list and sit on the seat of my bike, clicking the number I need. I bring the phone to my ear, glancing back at the shop’s office. I’m acutely aware of the woman currently biting her lip as she sorts a stack of paper, with not a clue what she is doing to me.

“I didn’t think I’d ever hear from you again.”

I grin. “How ya doin’ Fisher?”

“I’m old and tired, Holden. Livin’ the dream.” A chuckle came from the other line. “Now, I know you didn’t call me to catch up. What do you want?”

“Always straight to the point, Hank.” I run a hand through my hair, pushing it back behind my ear. “Do you still have contacts at the bureau?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I’m cashing in the Mosul favor.”

“Jesus Christ, Nash. What’s so important that you’re cashing that in?” I can hear the hesitation in Fisher’s voice. Mosul felt like a lifetime ago and yet not at the same time. Both he and I barely made it out alive that day. I carried Fisher through five miles of enemy territory before a rogue bullet ripped through my left shoulder. I was medically discharged a month later.

“I need information on someone.”

My eyes flicker back up to Kadence, watching as she moves through the office with ease, cleaning up the mess the guys had made in there over the last month after Becca was killed.

“Who is so important that you’re cashing in Mosul?”

I sigh, running a hand over my face to get myself to take my eyes off of her. “A woman. Showed up one night, somehow convinced Cole into giving her a job and a home, but there’s something about her–”

I hear laughter echo through the other line.

“You’re cashing in Mosul over a woman because ‘there’s something about her’?” I can tell Fisher is still trying to bite back laughter as he says the words.

“You’re an asshole,” I grumble. Fisher laughs even harder but I don’t find it the least bit funny. “You done?” I snap.

I hear Fisher clear his throat on the other end of the line and sighs. “Yeah–Look, Nash, have you ever thought of just…I don’t know, maybe getting to know her? Like a normal fucking person? Not requesting a full FBI background on her?”

I know it sounds insane, but I also have a feeling that I’m never going to get the truth from her. I recognize the anger and sadness that she tries so hard to hide, but one look from her and it feels like I’m looking into a mirror.

“Fisher, you said any time, whatever I needed, no questions asked.” I remind him.

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