Page 121 of Hunt for You

Judgment.

I hated it.Despisedit when people took one look, or heard one story, and decided they understood me. It made me rage when someone decided for me that they knew what I could or couldn’t handle.

And it finally hit me that that was exactly what I was doing to Gerald. Had been doing to him for two years, in fact.

Shit.

To his credit, Gerald clearly figured out that I was having a moment, because he closed his mouth and just watched me, one hand white-knuckled on his notebook in his lap. And then I saw his throat bob. Like he was nervous. Or scared. Or…something.

“You really want to hear it all, Gerald? Because it seems to me like you’re going to lose more sleep, not less,” I said quietly.

He nodded slowly. “I’d rather know. I’d rather have a chance, at least a shot at helping you through it, Bridget. If you’re ready to tell me, I’m ready to listen.”

“And what happens if you can’t deal?” I asked him honestly, surprised by the pinch in my throat.“What happens if I tell you and it’s just too much? I’m just too fucked up. What then?”

He leaned forward, his brow creasing. “Have you forgotten that I’ve met your father? You will not shock me, Bridget. I have zero doubt you’re going to scare me, but you won’t shock me. Tell me. Let me show you that you don’t have to do this alone.”

My heel was jumping up and down like the fucking Energizer Bunny. I had my hands twisted together in my lap. But I couldn’t break that gaze.

My guts were twisted up and I was having trouble breathing. But I was fuckingdone.

Maybe I was the one who couldn’t deal.

Maybe this was just going to tip me over the edge. And maybe there was something freeing in that.

“Better strap in,” I said through clenched teeth because it felt like they’d chatter if I tried to speak normally.

“Bridget, I’ve been buckled up for two years. Please, it would be areliefto know what’s really going on with you.”

I snorted because I doubted that, but I was suddenly feeling reckless and a little bit unhinged, so I threw up my hands and told him.

All of it.

The dude last year that scared me so bad I stopped sleeping with strangers, which Geraldkind ofknew about, but didn’t really. Not the bloody details.

Then my father’s letter that I’d never told anyone about, and the way I just wanted to be done with him.

Gerald slumped in his chair when I reached that part.

I told him about the gathering darkness. And about getting drunk and losing my shit a few weeks ago. And the post on the dark web forum. I even described the bar—and Art introducing me to Ronald.

He tensed again when I got to the drunk night, and his eyes narrowed when I described Ronald.

Then I just kept going and told him about Cain and the arrangement we’d made.

Gerald’s eyes got kinda wide, which made me nervous. So I had a decision to make.

But then, because I remembered what Sam said about always stopping at the climax, I made myself keep going. And I talked about Richard. And Sam…

Gerald’s lower jaw went slack when I described actually talking to Sam, and how he’d let me put it all out there. His head dropped when I told him I ran.

“…and then it’s just been… hell. So, now I’m here,” I said in the end, clearing my throat because my voice was a little hoarse.

By this time Gerald had his head in his hands. There was a moment where he didn’t move or speak and nerves twirled through me. But then he cleared his throat and lifted his head, and his eyes were a little red.

“Have you heard from Sam since you told him your story?”

My teeth clenched because Gerald knew it had been my experience that people fled from me after they heard about my dad, and I let them go.

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