Page 15 of Hunt for You

He’d dropped his face into his hands and was rubbing his eyes again, which was a little concerning. Ienjoyedthe combative nature of our exchanges. He wasn’t going to pussy-out on me now, was he?

Then he dropped his hands to the desk and looked at me and his expression was grim.

“It was a joke,” I muttered.

“I know,” he snapped back. “But that’s the problem, Bridget.Two yearsof this… war. Two years and I don’t see you getting better and that’s not because I haven’t given you good advice.”

I pouted. “Awwww, is the doctor wowwied about his cwedibiwity—”

“Drop the fucking act, Bridget! You’re not a rebellious teenager anymore. This isn’tangst.You’re a grown woman who is on a path to self-destruction, and I am becoming more and more convinced that I’m the only one who cares—it’s certainly evident thatyoudon’t!”

I blinked. Gerald had gotten frustrated with me before, but he’d never raised his voice. I stared at him, considering and discarding several cutting replies, and a couple of threats, too. I was unhappy about the sudden jangle of fear in my chest.

It wasn’t the good kind.

Was he giving up on me?

Did I care?

Gerald leaned on the desk, his entire posture bristling. “One thing, Bridget. I want you to tell me one thing you’ve done as a result of our time together toimproveyour mental health or wellbeing. Just one!”

“I wear the stupid heart monitor when I work out, and I usually avoid coffee,” I said quickly, because it was true.

But Gerald shook his head. “You do those things to keep our mutual friend off your back. I want to know what I’ve recommended that you’ve chosen to followfor yourself.”

I pressed my lips together and did some bristling of my own. “Are we suffering performance anxiety, Ger—?”

He shoved out of his seat and stormed around the desk towards me. Adrenaline shoved through my veins and I instinctively sprang to my feet, taking a defensive stance, assessing him—much taller and with longer arms so he could reach me easier. But there was some softness around his middle and—

He drew up short on the other side of the coffee table, his brows high and jaw slack. “Bridget, I’m not going toattackyou… dear God.”

I blinked, realizing I was in a fighting stance and he was just standing there, gaping at me.

I dropped my arms immediately, shame and self-disgust rolling through me in a wave as the anger died in his eyes to be replaced with a deep sadness. His forehead pressed to lines and he stared at me like… like he wasgrieving.

Ugh.

“Bridget,” he said, then shook his head. “I’m not trying to bait you. I’m genuinely terrified that you’re going to get yourself killed,” he said quietly. “Every second you’re late to an appointment I wonder if you’re out there in a dumpster behind some dive bar where the local psycho stuffed your body. Every day I brace before reading the news in case I stumble on an article about thebody of an unidentified female.I know you think you handle yourself—and I know you can. But… god… therisks…”

He kind of slumped, and my entire body ached with self-loathing.

“I don’t know,” he muttered, rubbing a hand over the smooth top of his head. “I don’t even know if I’m helping. I don’t know if—”

“I show up,” I said bluntly.

“Yes, but—”

“No, Gerald that’s… that’s real for me,” I said, folding my arms and avoiding his eyes that had snapped to my face when I spoke. “That’s a thing. That’s a… one thing that I’ve done that’s good for me. I show up. I never showed up for anyone before. So that’s… you did that,” I admitted, squirming, because I could feel him taking thatall kinds of ways.

“Bridget—”

“I’m not going to tell you that I’m better and all is well. But… I hear you, okay. I don’t always agree, but I hear you. When you talk, I listen. Even when Ideflect.”

His head kind of eased back and he looked at me, a little stunned. “Well… thank you for telling me that.”

I shrugged, because I was very afraid he was going to want to hug me, and my skin felt too tight and I thought if he squeezed me at all my guts might actually burst out of my body and—ugh.

He watched me for a second, then sighed heavily. “Don’t worry. I’ll go back to my seat now.”

---