Page 73 of The Bodyguard

She drops her head, her shoulders sagging as she lets out the heaviest of sighs. And when she looks back up at me there’s something in her eyes I haven’t seen before. A strength that wasn’t there, before. She’s a different woman now. A different person to the one I walked away from.

She didn’t want to be with you.

She didn’t know what she wanted, not really. Neither of us did. Maybe she does now, I know I do. And I just want to talk to her.

She comes towards me, fishing her keys out of her pocket as she walks right past me.

“We should go inside. My father could have people watching.”

I don’t think he has. If that was the case, I’m not sure I’d still be here. But, you know, it’s still a possibility.

She closes the door behind us and makes her way along a narrow hallway to the kitchen at the back of the house.

“How did you know where I was?” She repeats a question she already knows the answer to, and when she leans back against the counter and folds her arms I get that that’s a defensive stance, because she doesn’t trust me anymore. How can she, when I did what I did?

“It wasn’t hard.” I shrug, and I don’t elaborate any further. It isn’t important how I found her. What matters is, I did. “Look, Lena, I’m not working for MI5 anymore, okay?”

She’s frowning, and I’m trying to work out whether she actually cares or not, and right now, I think the latter might be winning.

“I left voluntarily. My choice. It’s not the life for me, not anymore. In hindsight I should’ve left after…”

I stop, because I don’t think she gives a shit, to be honest.

“What do you want to talk to me about?” she asks, turning away from me and picking the kettle up. And there’s no warmth in her voice. There’s nothing there at all, no emotion.

“Everything.”

She fills the kettle and switches it on, and when she looks at me again her expression is – yeah. There’s nothing there, either. And that could mean she really is done with me, or she’s just really good at hiding her feelings. And I like to think of myself as an optimist, but right now I’m almost positive the former’s winning that toss-up.

“Lena, I’m sorry.”

She drops her head and hugs herself tighter.

“I’m so sorry. And I need you to know that, to hear me say it, because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”

She looks up, her eyes locking on mine. “You should’ve told me.”

“I couldn’t. I just – I couldn’t. But don’t think I didn’t want to because I did. So many times. I wanted to tell you everything, but it could’ve been dangerous. We had no idea what we were dealing with, and once we found out the truth…”

“How long were they watching us? How long were MI5 watching us?”

“They were never watchingyou, Lena. And as far as eyes on your father were concerned, that only happened when he started meeting up with Novak, before that he was never on our radar. Never our concern. Your father’s business, nobody’s saying that what he does is right but he never posed a threat to the country. Novak does. And we had reason to believe he was planning something, but this time – this time his threats were empty. Meaningless. The only people Novak had any intention of targeting was your family, after he found out the truth about you. About who you really were.”

“How did he find out?”

“We don’t know. We have no idea how many people know the truth.”

Her shoulders sag a little, and she turns her head to look out of the picture-perfect window framed by tied-back red and white gingham curtains. It’s ridiculously cute.

“Do your family know you’re here?”

She nods, but keeps her head turned away from me.

“And, they’re okay, with you being here?”

Her head suddenly snaps back around, her eyes verging on cold as she stares at me. “I’m not sure any of that is your business.”

It is. It really is.

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