Page 72 of The Bodyguard

My birth father.

And I still don’t understand why they chose to keep me in the dark.

Because it didn’t matter?

It matters to me.

Was it a power thing? Was my father ashamed it would make him look weak, accepting what my mother had done? Forgiving her? Taking on another man’s child? Was that it? Really?

I close my eyes and tilt my head back, let the warm afternoon sun hit my face. Seagulls screech above me, the sound of chatter and laughter and the faint beat of music coming from a bar further along the promenade fills the air. It’s nice. Comforting. This is my safe place now. My new normal.

Forever…?

I don’t know. I don’t think too far into the future right now.

I stay where I am for a little while longer, as I always do, before walking a little further along the promenade. I buy an ice cream from a stall on the corner – peach and pineapple flavour – and I eat it sitting down on the sand looking out to sea. Sometimes I take out my Kindle and read for a while, sometimes I walk into town, that’s the only variation to my otherwise steadfast routine. I’m in control of everything here. Everything.

Today I choose to head into town and look around the shops. I’ve had my eye on a bracelet for a few days now but so far all I’ve done is walk past the window several times, stopping to glance inside every now and again. I can afford it, even though it isn’t the cheapest item of jewellery in the store, but for some reason I’m stalling actually stepping inside to buy it.

I’m always home between 5 and 6pm. I take a shower, watch a bit of TV, I don’t even check social media, emails, anything that reminds me of the life I left behind, I don’t want to be a part of that. For now. Who knows how I’ll feel in a few more weeks. I’m just taking each day as it comes.

At around 8pm I always head back to the restaurant, which is about a ten minute walk away, and I spend the evening eating and chatting with the locals, they’ve kind of taken me under their wing without being obtrusive. Nobody asks any questions, nobody wants to know why I’m here, on my own: why I’ve chosen this island. I feel free, here.

Turning the corner onto my street, I stop for a moment to look at the sunflowers growing in one of the front gardens. There are so many of them, all standing upright, some taller than others, but they’re incredibly pretty. They tower above all the other plants and flowers in the exceptionally neat and colourful garden that belongs to an elderly couple who always say hello and stop to chat if they’re outside when I pass. They’re indoors today, or out and about, I know they like a daily walk along the promenade too.

Leaning in to one of the shorter sunflowers, I close my eyes and breathe in its scent. It smells of sunshine. That’s how I’ve decided to describe it, and it makes me smile.

I live just a few doors down from their one-storey cottage, and as I open the gate to my beautiful little temporary home, closing it behind me, I glance around my own front garden. It’s a pretty mix of potted plants and flowers, all low maintenance, they just need watering every couple of days. Something even I can manage. There are hanging baskets either side of the front door… I stop in my tracks, about halfway up the crazy-paved front path. Someone’s leaning against the side of the house, their head down as they check their phone. I’m not expecting anyone, and my landlady always calls when she’s about to pop in, usually with a cake she’s just baked or the most delicious apple strudel, I really am living an idyllic life here.

“Hello?”

I take a couple of steps forward, and suddenly that idyllic life feels a little less safe. What if this has something to do with Novak? What if he’s found me? Sent someone to – what? Take me? Abduct me? Kill me…? Why would he do that? I think – IknowI’m being a little irrational now.

I swallow hard as the person looks up from their phone and steps out from the shade of a small awning above the kitchen window.

“Hey. I’ve been looking for you.”

Seventeen

Jonah

Her hair’s a lighter shade of blonde, her face almost make-up free, and even though, right now, she looks like she’s just seen a ghost, she’s still as beautiful as I remember her. And it suddenly hits me how much I’ve missed her. How much shit I got wrong. How all I want to do is make it right and I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know if I’m going to get the chance.

“I’m sorry, Lena, I didn’t mean to scare you…”

I start to walk towards her, holding my hands up as a way of telling her it’s okay. Nobody’s going to hurt her. But she’s backing away, shaking her head, and I’m terrified I’ve gone about this the wrong way. Again! Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, but I’m running on adrenaline and hope right now, it’s all I have.

“How did you know where I was?”

She practically hisses that question out from between clenched teeth, but her eyes never leave mine.

“Can we talk, inside? Please, Lena, I just want to talk to you.”

She stops, slides her hands into her pockets, her eyes darting left and right, I think she’s checking to see if any of the neighbours are around. Maybe she’s looking for back-up; a get-out. She doesn’t need it. She’s safe, with me. She will always be safe, with me.

“Please, Lena.”

I’m begging now, I don’t care anymore, I need to talk to her.

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