Page 51 of Beautiful Dangerous

“Fuck. You.”

I press my hand against her neck, my mouth on hers before she has a chance to take another breath, and she fights me. Of course she does. She claws at my arms, tears at my T-shirt; bites my lip, the bitch draws blood. I’d have expected no less.

I grab her wrists, both of them, and I push her back against the wall, I’m fucking done now. I don’t have time for this crap.

“Is that an order, or an invitation?”

She stares at me, but her expression remains impassive. There’s nothing there, no emotion in her eyes. And I hate that every feeling I’ve been trying to suppress for so fucking long is now bubbling back to the surface, but that’s my fault. Fucking her once – making that mistake – it opened a box that should’ve stayed locked, and now I can’t close it. I can’t, and I’m trying to push Javier and all the shit that’s about to come out to the back of my mind because if he ever found out…

“You don’t want me, remember?” she whispers, her expression softening, but in the blink of an eye she remembers what’s happening here, and she pulls her guard right back up. And if she really wanted me to answer that question it would be, no, I lied, I fucking want you more than you could ever know but your crazy-assed husband is still very much alive and if he had any idea how I really felt about you, he’d kill me himself. End me like a cornered rat, that kind of betrayal does not go unpunished in Javier Delgado’s world.

I let go of her wrists, and her arms drop to her sides, and I watch her expression change again, disappointment and sadness clouding her beautiful face.

“Olivia, believe me, there are reasons…”

I stop myself, because I shouldn’t be doing that. Shouldn’t be giving her an opportunity to ask questions that I have no answers for right now.

“Reasons for what? Why we can’t be together?”

I want to tell her everything, an insane moment that passes in a heartbeat, but I can’t tear my eyes from hers.

“When you found out I’d slept with Angel – when I told the reason why I’d slept with him, do you remember what you said to me? I could’ve come toyou, that’s what you said. I could’ve come toyou.”

I swallow down the words I really want to say to her, and ignore the urge to reach out and touch her again. “Olivia, I’m so sorry…” I take a step back, toward the door, I need to go now. And her eyes are pleading with me to tell her something – anything – that will make her understand why something so perfect, in her eyes, can’t happen. And I can’t tell her a fucking thing. So I don’t. I leave, and this time she stays where she is. She doesn’t follow me, but I’m still uneasy, Olivia Delgado can be unpredictable at times, something she only started to become after Javier’s “death”.

“Lucca?”

I stop on the stairs and turn around. She’s standing in the hallway, her arms wrapped around herself, and my heart, it’s fucking breaking.

“I’ll stay here. I promise.”

My body almost sags with relief.

“But I need proof, okay? That they really are gone.”

“You’ll have it.”

She smiles, but it’s faint, and it doesn’t go anywhere near her eyes, and all I want to do is get her as far away from this fucked-up world as I can. But that fantasy is all it’s ever going to be. A reality that can never happen. She isn’t mine, and she never can be.

Olivia

I sit down on the bed and pull out my phone, curling my legs up underneath me as I look for the same video I’ve played every day since Javier’s death. A video that appeared on my phone just minutes after Lucca told me he’d died. And I watch as his handsome face fills the small screen, I listen as he tells me how much he loves me; that if I’m watching this then the worst has happened, he’s gone, but I need to remember him. I won’t survive, if I don’t remember him.

He smiles, his eyes dark and dangerous and I remember the first time I looked into those eyes, and knew that I loved him. It had terrified me, that moment, scared me so much I didn’t sleep that night. I’d lain awake in his arms, contemplated running, but the truth was it was too late. I was already in too deep. But by morning, I was sure. The doubt had disappeared. There were no more second thoughts. I’d loved him. A part of me still does, always will, but he’s gone. And I’m still here, and I know – Iknowhe wouldn’t want me to be alone forever.

Remember, Olivia, I will always love you.

His voice fills my head, and I reach out and touch the screen, tears streaming down my face.

“Until we meet again, my darling,” he whispers, and the screen goes black. And I resist the urge to press replay, I’m not sinking into that well of self-pity again, I’ve been there far too many times. I have a business to run. Javier’s business.Ourbusiness. I have a life that, I’m sure, my late husband would want me to carry on living, which is why, no matter what I’ve just promised Lucca, I have to end the lives of the men who took his.

Eleven

Lucca

The heat in the back of the van is suffocating, and I swear down half these bastards in here don’t wash as often as they should, I mean, Jesus, come on! Don’t they know how a shower works?

“How long?” Arturo Mendez, one of the best Sicarios in the Delgado cartel, shuffles his body weight toward the back doors, keen to get the job done. He once took down three men in less than two seconds, so I’ve no doubt his swift action will get this shit sorted cleanly and quickly.

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