Page 85 of Beautiful Dangerous

“Even you? Even Javier? Should she trusthim?”

“I’m not having this conversation.” I make a move to go, climbing down from the table, still clutching the bottle of Jack Daniels. I’ll finish that off later, somewhere, but I know I’m not going back to the Delgado estate, not yet.

“I want to help you, Luc. You, and Olivia.”

I stop, and I turn around, and I fix him with a look that tells him I think he’s crazy. He’s fucking out of his mind to even think about getting involved in this. He’s already in way deeper than he should be.

“Why the hell would you want to help us?”

“Because life’s too fucking short to live one you’re not happy in.”

Am I in some kind of alternate universe here or what? “I’m sorry, I’m fucking confused, I mean, when did you suddenly start caring about other people’s relationships?”

Angel gets up and comes over to me, and I’m just not getting this. At all.

“I care about Olivia. And you’re a true brother, Lucca. You’re one of us.”

“Why would you want to do something that puts you at this kind of risk? We shouldn’t even be talking about this… Have you said anything to anybody else?”

“No. And I don’t intend to. You can trust me, Lucca. I mean that.”

I’m shaking my head because I can’t understand why anyone would want to do this. What help can he give us anyway? It’s not like Olivia and me can just walk away from this world, it isn’t as easy as that. “You must have some kind of death wish, bro.”

He shrugs. “What can I say? I like taking risks.”

I sit back down, take another swig of whiskey, and drop my head, closing my eyes. I’m so fucking tired, exhaustion’s sweeping over me, it’s like every night I went without sleep is suddenly catching up with me now.

“She shouldn’t have involved you,” I sigh, raising my head and glancing around, I don’t want anyone else within earshot of this conversation.

“She needs someone to offload on.”

“And you’re the perfect choice, huh?”

We look at each other, and we smile, and it feels good to laugh a little, even though I’m in the midst of betraying a man I considered to be my brother in all but name. A dangerous man. A man I would’ve took a bullet for, until I fell in love with his wife…

“I didn’t want to love her.” I’ve never talked like this, never been open with anyone, and that’s because I’ve never really had the kind of friends you could have those conversations with.

“Sometimes shit happens that we have no control over,” Angel sighs, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he stares out ahead. “And you just gotta make that decision. Take that chance.”

“It’s not that easy.” The more I talk about it, the more I say the words that make this all real, the more crazy it sounds. The more impossible it becomes. “Nothing about this is easy. But the only way Olivia and I could ever be together is if we get out of here, and how do we do that, huh?” I look at Angel, and I think he gets what I’m saying. He understands the shit this could cause. “Javierwillfind out, what we did. He may already know, and if he does...”

I don’t need to finish that sentence. He already knows the answer.

I rake a hand through my hair and let out a heavily weighted sigh. “I have no clue what might happen over the next few days or weeks, she might even decide that now he’s back, she needs to stay with him. He’s talking about renewing their vows, Angel. A second fucking wedding, and I saw what he did first time around, remember? I saw how he reeled her in, made her fall in love with him, he could do that again. How do I know that what she tells me she feels for me – how do I know that isn’t just something brought on by her need to move on after Javier? By her missing Javier? I was the closest thing to him, wasn’t I? Is that why she gravitated toward me, because I was the closest thing she had to Javier? And now the man himself is back…” I shrug, and pour more whiskey down my throat. “I might have already served my purpose.”

“You’re just feeling sorry for yourself now. And you never struck me as the pity-party type.”

I’m not, usually. Life’s fucking unfair, I’ve always known that, but for once in my messed-up life I’ve decided to fight for something that I once thought could never be mine. And I’m sick of that shit now, whycan’tshe be mine?

“You need to talk to her, Luc.”

“I told you, it isn’t that easy.”

Careful, you’re close to falling back into that well of self-pity now…

“You’re going to have to find a way, Lucca. This is some serious shit you got yourself into, but if you two want to be together, if youreallywant to be together – man, that’s something you guys are going tohaveto talk about.”

I drop my head again, running a hand along the back of my neck as another wave of exhaustion washes over me. “You said you’d help us.” I look up, and I think I believe this man when he tells me I can trust him. It’s too late anyway, even if I felt like that trust wasn’t there, he already knows our secret. But if Olivia believes she can trust him then maybe it’s okay. I’m just going to have to go with that.

---