Page 86 of Beautiful Dangerous

“Seriously, brother. Anything you need.”

“Right now, I just need to sleep,” I sigh, setting the bottle of whiskey down on the table, I’ve had enough. More than enough.

“You can crash here tonight, in one of the rooms out back.”

“Thanks, Angel. I might just do that.” Because I don’t want to go back to the house. Back to where Javier and Olivia are… are what, exactly? I don’t know. I don’t even want to think about it.

I get up, taking the remains of the steak sandwich Angel gave me earlier with me. I might be tired but my appetite has suddenly reappeared, and even though it’s cold now I want to finish this sandwich. Food and sleep, two things I never paid all that much attention to before are now suddenly right there at the top of my list of things I really need right now.

“See you in the morning.” Angel raises his beer and shoots me a knowing look, and I hope to God our secret really is safe with him.

“Yeah. You will.”

Today, the earth shifted a little bit more beneath me, but I’m ready. For whatever the fuck is about to come next. I’m ready…

Javier

Feeling her warm skin next to mine; being inside her again, it’s the release I need, I have waited so long for this moment. And as I hold her close, feel her come in my arms, her quiet moans are like the sweetest music.

Her soft breasts push against me as I thrust into her, seeking my own pleasure, the build-up already beginning like a ticking timebomb about to go off, it’s that fast as a wave of spasms take over my body, her fingers intertwining with mine, almost crushing them as she takes me deep, and I flood out into her, her legs wrapped around me, keeping me right where I want to be. With her. My beautiful queen.

Her legs loosen their grip and fall away from me, and I roll onto my back and stare up at the stark, white ceiling. I feel her move beside me as she raises herself up, turns onto her side, resting up on one elbow, and I look at her. She smiles at me, and it reminds me of our very first night together, how beautiful she’d looked. How happy she’d been. But she isn’t that naïve young girl anymore, she’s still beautiful – even more beautiful, if that’s possible, but she isn’t happy anymore. There’s a sadness behind her eyes, and it tears at my soul, but I always knew that leaving her the way I did, it came with risks. And I just wasn’t ready to face the consequences it’s created.

“I love you so much,mi amor,” I whisper, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair back behind her ear. “So much.”

She smiles, her fingertips trailing lazily over my chest, her eyes following their every move. But the fact that she doesn’t tell me she loves me too, it’s another stab in the heart for me. Another painful realization that the risk I had to take, it might not have been worth it. But I’m not done fighting, she just needs more time; more reminders of how our life used to be, how good we were together.

“Everything is going to be alright, Olivia. I promise you that. Everything will be fine.”

She looks at me, but even though her eyes are staring into mine, her mind is elsewhere. It’s so obvious, and I’m sure she isn’t aware of it, that I can see that she isn’t completely with me, but it’s true. And I wonder if that place she’s gone to – I wonder if she’s there with someone else. Another man. Someone who’s already taken my place… She thought I was dead. Maybe she moved on more than I thought she would. Thought shecould. And all of a sudden the most brutal wave of exhaustion swamps me, the events of the past few days – the past couple of years – I think they’re finally catching up with me. Catching up with all of us.

The secrets.

The lies.

The betrayal…?

It’s all surging forward, ready to bring to an end this chapter, and signal the beginning of the next one. A new one. And for many of us, I feel it may be a very different story we’re about to tell…

Seventeen

Olivia

He wasn’t there when I woke up, and I found myself breathing a sigh of relief. I showered for what felt like an eternity, washing him off of me, memories of the sex last night filling my head, my heart breaking, because I never thought I’d feel this way about a man I once worshipped. I’d loved Javier, so much, but I couldn’t grieve forever. Is that what he’d wanted me to do? Grieve for him, constantly, because he knew he was always going to come back…?

Downstairs, there’s still no sign of Javier, so I head into the kitchen, where Celine is busy preparing a mountain of toast and eggs.

“Have you seen Javier this morning?” I ask, taking a jug of orange juice from the fridge and pouring myself a glass.

“He’s in his office,” Celine replies as she whisks more eggs up in a bowl before tipping them into the pan. “He said he had some calls to make. I made sure he took some food in with him, though. These men, they forget to eat sometimes.”

I can’t help smiling at the way Celine looks after these dangerous men like they were schoolboys. She keeps them on track better than anyone else I know, they love and respect her, and not just because she’s constantly cooking up heaps of delicious food for them. For us. I should really spend more time in the kitchen myself, there’s no need for her to be doing everything.

“Are you hungry? What would you like me to make you?” Celine asks, without waiting for me to tell her whether I’m hungry or not. But I am, a little. And those eggs smell delicious!

“Eggs will be fine. Thanks, Celine.” I take a sip of orange juice and glance around the kitchen. “Is Lucca about?”

She sidles up next to me, leaning in and lowering her voice to almost a whisper. “He didn’t come home last night. His bed hasn’t been slept in.”

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