Page 83 of Beautiful Dangerous

Every word he utters feels like a veiled threat, and I know that’s just my paranoia setting in, but I also know this man. I know what he’s capable of, and all of a sudden that terrifies me. And I know what I have to do now, to prolong this charade for as long as I have to. If I want any chance of a future with Lucca, then I have to continue playing a role I’ve outgrown, but I’m stuck with it. For now.

“I know. And we will, we’ll talk. But not tonight, okay? We’ve done enough talking for one day, don’t you think?”

He arches a brow, the corner of his mouth lifting in a hopeful smirk. “What else do you have in mind?”

I smile at him, and I hope it reaches my eyes, but the look on his face tells me it has. His expression softens, and when he kisses me I try to push Lucca to the back of my mind and focus totally on him. Because I have to. I have to.

“I’m not really hungry anymore,” I whisper, and as much as I don’t want to do this, pushing him away isn’t something I can carry on doing, he’s my husband. “Are you?”

He shakes his head, and I feel my stomach hit the floor, even though I knew this was going to happen. Of course it was going to happen!

“Then let’s leave dessert until later.”

He gets up, takes my hand, and pulls me up out of my seat, sweeping me into my arms, and it really is like living a scene from an overly romantic movie. The darkly dangerous, handsome hero sweeping his beautiful wife off her feet. And into his bed…

Close your eyes and imagine it’s Lucca.

It’s the only way you’re going to get through this…

“We have so much to look forward to, Olivia.”

His words send a cold shiver tearing through me but I have to stay strong.Do what is expected of me. Act like the Olivia I was before he disappeared. But the woman he came back to, she really is a very different person.

Lucca

I don’t know how many times I’ve paced the length of this room; stopped to watch from the window and feel my heart ache with shit I never wanted to feel, things that can destroy a person, that’s why I’d always tried to shut any emotion down, anything that made mefeelsomething, I didn’t welcome it. But I feel it all, for Olivia Delgado.

Knowing she’s out there, with him, planning a future – he’s going to tell her they’re renewing their wedding vows, and the thought of having to watch her marry him a second time… Yeah. I have been in love with Olivia since before she married Javier. I’ve carried that secret around with me for so long, hoping it would eventually become something that would fade away, that what I felt for her would disappear, but it never did. Instead it grew and deepened and when Javier told me what he was planning, that he was going to fake his own death in order for us to bring down the Pino Cartel; when he told me I would have to keep Olivia close, stay with her on an almost constant basis, that’s when I knew that everything I was trying to pretend didn’t exist, it was going to become very real. And much harder to ignore.

Pouring myself another whiskey – I don’t know how many I’ve had tonight, I’ve lost count – I go back over to the window and stare outside. They look like they’re about to leave, to come back inside, are they going to bed…?

Downing my drink in one, I feel my fingers tighten around the empty glass, and I let go of it before it shatters in my hand, the thick gray carpet preventing it from smashing into pieces. Like my fucking heart.

Dragging a hand back through my hair I walk away from the window, I can’t look anymore. She has to do what she has to do, in order to keep him happy. But knowing she’s with him, that he’s touching her in a way I only got the briefest taste of, it fucking hurts.

I need to get away from here. For a little while. I just need some space, and Javier isn’t going to need me tonight, so I take the car, even though I’ve had way more than one drink too many, andIdrive to the Devil’s Creed compound.

There’s a party going on when I get there, a gathering of fellow bikers, their allies and brothers, but I know I’ll be welcome. I used to be one of them, and you never really walk away from this life. You never really can. Yeah. Tonight, this is where I need to be.

“Hey, brother, what you doing here?”

Angel’s outside the clubhouse, drinking beer and eating what looks like a ridiculously oversized steak sandwich with a mess of fried onions spilling out from all sides.

“I needed some time out. I’m not needed over there.”

He looks at me, and I frown.

“What?”

“Nothing. Do you want a drink?”

“Yeah. Whiskey. Bring the bottle.”

He raises an eyebrow, and hands me the sandwich. “Alright. I hear you. Try some of this steak, it’s incredible! Pablo’s dad’s just opened a butcher’s shop on Fourth Street, and he’s given us a meat hamper. Hence this get together. We need to use it up before it goes off.”

“A meat party, huh?” The corners of my mouth turn upwards, I feel better already just being away from the estate.

“Something like that. Back in a second.”

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