Page 9 of The Healer

“Give me a good reason why,” she pressed.

“Because I don’t want my mind to be tampered with,” he replied softly. “I’ve lived that hell once before and I shan’t do it again.”

She bit her bottom lip as his quiet admission settled over the three of them.

Pyre leaned back in his chair and tipped his ridiculous top hat back, amber eyes characteristically somber as he watched their friend. “I take it you’ve had dealings with such drugs before?”

Nyx felt her heart clench at the look of utter destruction that encompassed Briggs’ features. He’d shared much of his past with them, but always left out the gory details. She knew it was much worse than he ever let on. Each time they had an assignment which meant sleeping over, he had her tie him up so he couldn’t sleepwalk and hurt anyone during one of his episodes. Every time he had one of his waking nightmares, she always sat with him just out of reach, humming to give him the only comfort she could.

“In the pits,” Briggs murmured, his gaze drifting to something far off. “I fought for their entertainment as you well know. But after I was taken as a child, I never stopped fighting back, so they began to drug me.” She sucked in a sharp breath. “When I realized what the Mistress was doing, I stopped eating and drinking so they couldn’t control me. But as I wasted away, the Mistress began sending younger children into the pits—theones I’d been trying to protect for years. If I died, who would help them?” He shook his head, a sheen of tears filling his dark eyes. “So I began eating, and I would lose time, only to wake up covered in blood and the scent of death.”

Briggs set his cards down and ran a hand over his face. “Then at some point I began to crave it. I wanted the drugs she gave me so I could forget the horrors. But the Mistress was all too clever. She loved to torture those under her control. Once she saw my longing for the drugs, she changed it to something else. It altered my perception so that I felt like I was trapped inside my mind. I could see everything that was happening, but I couldn’t control my own body.”

A shudder wracked his large frame as Nyx reached out and took his hand in her own. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

Her bear gave her a weak smile. “I know. That’s why I’m sharing this with you. I won’t ever be controlled by a drug again.”

Nyx nodded, feeling her heart sink to her stomach. “You know I would never do that to you, right?”

He held her gaze, warmth finally filling his lovely dark brown eyes. “I know you would never hurt me, but my mind also fears much because of my past.”

She squeezed his hand. “I won’t press you anymore, but I want you to know that what I’ve created is for liberation, not slavery. Everything comes from the forest and is natural. Pyre and I both care for you,” her cheeks burned as his gaze warmed further, “we just wanted you to find some peace.”

“Thank you.”

Nyx released his hand, her fingers tingling at the contact and picked up her cards. The backs of her eyes burned but she refused to cry. How could anyone do something so horrific to someone so gentle and kind? It made her want to raise the Mistress from the dead so Nyx could kill her all over again.

Briggs sniffed, and she caught him watching her from the corner of her eye. “You mourn for me?”

“I do,” she said, her voice wobbling the tiniest bit. “I’m so sorry.”

Briggs studied his empty mug as Nyx pulled herself back together. Pyre tossed his cards onto the table and leaned back in his chair.

She narrowed her eyes playfully at her brother. “You never quit.”

“Seemed like the game was over.”

“You were going to lose,” she accused.

He grinned, tipping his hat forward so it covered his eyes. “I would never.”

“You would always?—”

“If I were to agree to taking your serum,” Briggs cut in. “I would need Pyre to be there.”

Nyx blinked at him. “I didn’t mean to push you so hard for this. Just forget I ever mentioned it.”

“I trust you.”

Butterflies took flight in her stomach as she held his gaze. She’d always hoped he’d say three little words to her that meant everything, but somehow ‘I trust you’ seemed to mean more.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “But don’t make a snap decision. You’ve had some ale. Sleep on it and we can talk tomorrow.”

He shook his head. “No. I won’t sleep on it, and I don’t want to wonder about it, or talk myself out of it. It’s time to stop living in the past.”

She jerked awake.

Nyx blinked hard, her eyes adjusting to the darkness. The coals burned low in the hearth and Pyre stood by the fireplace; his gaze focused on Briggs. Her friend had them tie him to the large upright leather.