Thirty minutes later,he knocked on her door. It swung open before he could pull his hand back.
“Hi,” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. The rest of it was piled up on her head, and she had already put on her pjs. The shadows under her eyes were dark. He tugged her into his arms.
She sighed against his chest, her shaking breath washing across his throat.
“Hi, Mags. You look exhausted.”
She huffed out a laugh. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
He guided her back into her house, shutting the door behind him and leading her toward the kitchen table.
“What can I get you?” he asked.
“Nothing. I’m just glad you’re here. I’m sorry I missed the game, but it looked like a good one.”
“I played like shit, honestly. My good luck charm wasn’t there,” he said, brushing a kiss across her nose.
She laughed softly. “You know that’s all in your head, right? It was a good game.”
“Tell me what happened today,” he said, twining his fingers through hers. He needed to touch her constantly. It settled him.
“Camilla’s test results came back. She is having too many side effects from the clinical trial, but her results look slightly better than the last time. I wanted to give her mother that news as soon as I heard anything. And Henry has to stay in the hospital longer.”
“So good news and bad news today. I’m sorry about Henry, but that kid is amazing and he’s going to beat it.” But he knew his reassurances did little to ease her frustrations.
“I know I shouldn’t get so emotionally involved…”
“I wish I could help. You didn’t pick an easy, low-stress career.”
Her mouth quirked up at the side. “No kidding. But I love helping people. I just wish I could cure all of them.”
“It’s one of the things I love the most about you, Mags,” he said.
Shit. He hadn’t meant to tell her that already. Not that it wasn’t the complete truth, but her shocked expression made him wish he’d kept his damn mouth shut.
Right now was not the time for the conversation, but they needed to have it.
Holy crap.
He’d said it. Of course, she’d already assumed how he felt since she’d never stopped loving him, but this was way too fast. They had so much going on in their lives and it’d been less than a month since they’d seen each other after all those years.
“I love you, Mags. I never stopped. I know our schedules are crazy, but I want to spend every night that I’m in town with you. I want to wake up next to you and fall asleep with you,” he said, rubbing his thumb across her palm.
Her breath caught in her throat as she stared up at him. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him she felt the same way, but something held her back. Her life was super busy and beyond stressful. She’d been distracted all week. Hell, all month, and she had to focus on her patients. On her career. Not that he was hindering that on purpose, but she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
And she was so damn tired all the time from late hours at the few of his games she’d managed to get to, and the lack of sleep she got when they were in the same bed.
Yes, supporting his career was important to her, but trying to figure out a relationship, and keep it healthy, was not easy. Especially in her first year of residency. She was still trying to get her bearings in a new city, at a new hospital.
“Alex. Don’t you think this is moving a little fast?”
Dammit. Why did he have to tell her this now? She didn’t want to think about anything other than sleep, but this conversation had been a long time coming. Well, in the few weeks since they’d been back in each other’s lives.
She saw the pain in his eyes and hated herself, but she had to figure out her priorities. Yes, he was one of them, but she’d worked so hard to get through medical school and had just started her residency. She had to find a balance in her life that included him but didn’t distract her from her job.
What if in three years she moved to another state when her residency was up? What if he was traded? Could she give him everything she had? Everything he deserved? She deserved?
Questions rolled through her brain, but she kept them internal.