Page 61 of Bourbon & Bonfires

I stare at the blank screen as her words settle around me. She’s right, but this conversation with Dan needs to be just us. I need this for me as much as I need it for everyone else. He needs to know we’re done waiting around for him to show up and bless us with his presence. We have lives and people who love us, who we love back. This time, there may not be room for him anymore.

Being married to Dan, there was always an expectation. Most of his expectations were based on appearances and impressions. Dressing just right, living in a certain neighborhood, keeping up with the Joneses so to speak. It was always an underlying issue in our marriage, and I’ve spent the years since we separated trying not to live that way. Sure, I care about my appearance and want nice things, but I don’tneedany of that to be happy. Some of the happiest of my days have been lounging around in comfy clothes, my hair in a messy bun, and not a care in the world.

Today, I care what I look like, and I hate it. I don’t want to go see Dan and have him think for one minute that I am unhappy or not doing well. I want him to see what he left behind, and that it was for the best. I no longer hold bitterness in my heart for him. That realization is mostly because of Landon and how he treats me. He treats me, and Mason, like we matter to him. As if our happiness is more important to him than his own. That’s what I’ve always dreamed of, and now I have it.

I need to get over my insecurities and issues and talk to him. I’m not sure what the future holds, but I know keeping my love for him to myself isn’t benefiting either of us. As I slip my feet into a pair of wedges, I contemplate calling him now. Or at the very least, texting him that we need to talk. But a glance at the time reminds me I don’t have a minute to spare.

Looking in the full-length mirror, I assess myself from head to toe. My hair is a little longer than I used to wear it. Now, my dark locks hit my shoulders and have taken on a sight wave. I’ve kept my makeup light and natural but added a splash of color to my lips. The white blouse I chose flows loosely to my waist, and my dark-wash jeans with the wedges make my legs look a lot longer than they really are.

Once I grab my purse and lock up the house, I settle into my car, taking a deep, calming breath before starting it. I tap my favorite playlist and head toward Roasters. I was never much into country music before I started spending time with Landon, but now it’s become my go-to option. As the music fills the car, I find the tension leaving my shoulders and manage a little pep talk to myself.

I’m lucky to find a parking spot in front of the shop and sit in my car for a few minutes, looking at the patrons in line. When a group of women moves slightly to the left, I spot Dan in line. He’s chatting with the petite blonde in front of him. I know that look. He’s attempting to charm her, to woo her with his perfect smile, compliments, and if I remember anything about his moves, he’ll offer to buy her coffee in exchange for her telephone number. The minute he places his hand on hers to stop her from paying, I take that as my cue to go inside.

The moment the glass door opens, I’m overcome with the amazing smell of freshly ground coffee, cinnamon, and nutmeg. I love coffee. Instead of interrupting Dan and the blonde, I take my place in line, an older gentleman separating us. I smile to myself as the woman looks taken aback at what I assume is Dan’s suggestion she give him her telephone number. Up close, I see the woman is closer to Mason’s age than Dan’s, and I snicker. To my surprise, instead of offering her number, she instead turns the tables and suggests he give her his number. He doesn’t. That’s likely because his new girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate the call she may make. Smart girl.

When it’s my turn to order, I quietly request my usual soy vanilla latte and orange cranberry muffin. I stand off to the side, waiting for Dan to finish his efforts with the blonde but when my name is called shortly after his, he pauses at turns to see me walking to the counter to retrieve my order.

“Addison.” The look on his face is priceless. During our marriage, I caught him in a similar situation more than once. During those moments, he convinced me I misread a situation. Clearly, I hadn’t.

“Hello, Dan. I’ll get a table while you finish here.”

I walk to an empty table, and leave Dan to explain himself to the girl. I’ve taken my first sip of coffee when he takes the seat across from me.

“You look good, Addison.”

“Thanks.” I don’t offer him a similar concept because, frankly, he doesn’t look good. He looks exhausted. Tan but not good. “So, what brings you to our little town?” I ask, taking a bite of my muffin.

“Can’t a man visit his wife and son?”

“Ex-wife, and no, not really.”

“Look, Addison, I know you’re angry, and Mason has been a little difficult the last few months but—”

“Dan,” I begin before taking a deep breath. Just him mentioning Mason makes my insides twist. The nervousness I had a few minutes ago is replaced by my protective mama instincts, and I’m ready to tell him to take his opinions and shove them. “I’m not interested in your thoughts or opinions on my son. If you’re here to spend time with Mason, I will speak to you about that. But the rest is really not up for discussion. Also, in the future, I’d appreciate you speak to me about scheduling time with Mason, not simply showing up here with very little notice.”

“This attitude you’ve adopted is not becoming, Addison. Perhaps this is why Mason has made some of the poor choices he has over the last year.”

That’s it; this sonofabitch can kiss my ass. If this coffee wasn’t absolutely amazing and my muffin wasn’t one of the greatest things to hit my taste buds in forever, I’d throw this at him and walk out. Instead of responding, I do the one thing that drives Dan crazier than most anything. I don’t respond to his jab and simply sit back and sip my coffee while staring at him. The way he’s shifting in his seat tells me I currently have the upper hand, and he’s not sure what to do.

The minutes tick by as I listen to Dan regale me with his stories of travel, business transactions, and his new West Coast life. None of it really registers; it’s white noise as I enjoy my muffin, and my thoughts drift to the lasagna I plan on making tonight for my guys. My guys, not this tool. What did I ever see in him?

“That’s why we think it would be best for Mason to come spend the summer with us.”

Wait, what? I sputter my coffee, trying to catch by breath before speaking that thought. “What?”

“Lolly and I think it would be best for Mason to come stay with us for the summer. Give him a little structure and a break from small-town life.”

I’m not sure what sets me off more, the name “Lolly” or the fact that he thinks Mason would want to go anywhere with him for a day let alone a summer. He’s truly detached from his son and has no concept of the damage he has done.

“That’s not happening.”

“Addison,” he begins, his tone patronizing.

I’m about to respond when a throat clears behind me, and I turn to see it’s owner.

“Hey, babe. Sorry I’m late,” Landon says before taking the seat next to me, placing his arm across the back of my chair, and kissing my temple.

“Uh,” I breathe out. He’s here. With Dan.

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