Page 60 of Bourbon & Bonfires

I open the door and step onto the porch as Landon pulls a ballcap on his head and locks the door. Walking to his truck with his hand on my lower back, I’m lost in my thoughts. Why didn’t I say it back? I love him. I’m so in love with him it’s ridiculous. But he’s right. I am worried. I’m worried that being with someone my age is him settling. I worry he’s confusing lust and attraction with love. Mostly, I worry about Mason and how he’ll feel about me moving on, about me being with someone other than his father. And for Landon. Being a father figure to a teenage boy is far more than he should sign up for.

In the few minutes it takes him to drive me to my house, Landon remains silent, only humming along to the music on the radio. I watch the houses pass by as we drive, and when he pulls into my driveway, I turn to face him.

“I’ll call you later.”

“I know.”

I smile and get out of the truck. Later, I’ll go to him and tell him how I feel. I’ll lay it all on the line for him to decide where we go from here. But until then, I have an ex-husband to deal with and a best friend to call. I need all the words of encouragement I can get at this point.

As soon as I’m in the house, I grab my tablet and tap the power button before hitting the video icon. In three rings, Nela answers with her fake British accent.

“Ello, love.”

“Really?”

“I sound authentic, don’t I?”

I laugh and shake my head at my best friend. “That’s a no. How many more months until you’re home? Maybe by then it’ll be less embarrassing for you.”

“Addison Sinclair! Do not mock me. Who am I kidding? It is really awful.” Nela sighs with a look of acceptance on her face. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Don’t make it sound like I never call. I do. First, how’s London?”

“It’s less dreary and just as amazing as you’d expect it to be. I still think you should come visit while you can.”

“If only,” I say with a sigh similar to hers just moments ago. Flopping on my bed, I hold the tablet over my head.

“Uh oh. What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you and that sexy boy toy broke up.”

“He told me he loves me.”

“Oh shit. And? You told him you’re madly in love with him, right?”

“Not exactly. I kind of froze and then freaked out.”

“Addison!”

“Ugh, I know okay? It’s just ... Dan’s here.”

“There, like in your house?”

“What? Oh, God, no! He’s here in Lexington. I, uh, well, uh ... so I didn’t exactly tell Landon.”

“I see. And why not?”

“Because it’s my drama. He doesn’t need to be worried about it. He would be too. He’d want to fix it, and it’s not his problem.”

Nela sits back in her office chair and squints her eyes at me. I glimpse the London skyline in the background and a twinge of jealousy hits me. Her life is far less dramatic than mine. I watch as she assesses me and my situation, trying to choose her words carefully. I think I’m about to be lectured, and I can’t say I’m surprised or undeserving. But it’s what she says that has me startled.

“You’re right. It’s your business and your problems. He doesn’t need to step in and handle them.”

“Uh, wow. I wasn’t expecting you to agree with me. You never agree with me.”

“Oh, I don’t agree with you. At all. I think you’re being ridiculous and should absolutely include him in this. I just know you, and you think you need to prove to everyone you can handle this on your own. But, Addy, that’s where you’re wrong. You don’thaveto do these things on your own when you have people in your life who love you. Dan can’t hurt you anymore; he doesn’t hold the power. Go see him alone or tell Landon, whatever you want. Just remember this isn’t about whether you can do this on your own; it’s about whether you need to.”

Nela’s phone clicks, and I hear another line ring. She’s at work and doesn’t have time for my problems. I smile and say, “Thanks, babe. I hear ya. I’ll let you know what happens.”

“I love you, Addy. Just remember you don’t have to fight alone anymore.”

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