Page 65 of Obey

My whole body hardens, and I guess I growl again because he takes a half step back. “Okay. Up. Now.” He squares up to me, Austin’s behind me, Thor’s probably behind the bar getting ready for opening in a few hours. Between the three of them, they could totally take me.

“Downstairs, shower, now.” He’s barking at me like I’m one of his play things. If I was in any way bi or gay, it would probably be hot.

It’s not worth the effort to object, so I haul my ass up off the stool I’ve been stinking up—apparently for four days—and follow Slade down into the dungeons.

The hot, steaming stream of the shower doesn’t help me, either. While I know in my soul I’m no good for that girl, there’s something deep inside my chest that’s mocking me, making me feel like a goddamn idiot for walking away.

“Is it a woman?”

“Fuck!” I damn near jump out of my skin at Slade’s voice. The showers aren’t communal, I’m in the staff-only bathroom, and there are three shower stalls next to each other with frosted glass doors.

“So you can still speak. Good. Start talking.” His voice is hard, words clipped, tone demanding.

“Fuck off.”

“Can’t do that, bud. Can’t help you if I fuck off.”

I grunt. I’d say I don’t need help but the pain in my ribs is tangible, and if he doesn’t tell me how to get rid of it, it might linger there next to the pain of losing my wife.

“It’s a woman.” The words are quiet, barely audible over the water streaming down my back.

“What did you do?”

“What makes you think it was me?” As soon as the question leaves my mouth, Slade’s laughing.

“My dude, it’s seeping from your pores.”

“Did something stupid with a woman and now need to figure out how to erase it.” Lathering up the body wash on my chest takes a mammoth effort.

He laughs again, and I want to punch him in his smug face. “We both know you can’t erase anything. What did you do?”

“Fell for her.”

“Sounds pretty good to me so far. What else?”

“Left her.” I shut off the water and shake my head.

When I step out of the cubicle, Slade throws a towel at me. “Just like that? You just, up and left?”

I nod, drying my head, neck and shoulders before wrapping the towel around my waist.

“Okay, dumbass, why would you do that?” The more he looks at me, the more uncomfortable I get until I can no longer hold his stern gaze. “I get it. You got scared, you freaked out, and you left. Tale as old as fucking time.”

He drops onto a bench next to the lockers before patting the wood next to him. “Sit.”

“I’m fine standing.”

“Cool, but could you cover your junk a bit better? It’s staring at me. It’s always hard falling when you’ve gotten so good at keeping people at arm’s length.” He crosses his legs. “You let someone get behind the castle walls, you bolted, messed it up, and now you’re hurting. Do you feel bad? Do you want her back?”

I grunt again.

He holds up his hands, palms facing me. “Not asking if you don’t want to share. You’re a private guy and that’s okay. But you gotta dig deep, Jagger, figure out what the hell has you so scared, what the root cause is, or you’ll just end up in this situation the next time it happens. Stupidity is doing the same things over and expecting different results.”

Is he just reciting fortune cookie wisdom at me right now?

“Growth is painful, my friend.” He stands up and pats my chest. “But if we aren’t growing, then what’s the fucking point?” With that, he pats me again. “Let me know if you need or want to talk. I’m always here. But I think you probably know what you need to do, you just don’t like your choices.”

Fucker isn’t wrong. I have no way to contact her, though, and I’m not Harry fucking Winslow. I’m not stalking her.

---