Page 89 of Best Kept Secret

I wasn't so sure, I thought as I wandered through the nearby Forsyth Park on a Saturday afternoon. Savannah in the summer was hotter than Hades, but in the fall, it was absolutely stunning. The park had become my favorite place to ruminate.

Tall oaks stretched overhead like protective arms, their Spanish moss swaying lazily. The park was alive with families, joggers, people lounging on blankets, kids running around the fountain at the center.

Beau and I walked here, too—sometimes we talked, other times we were just together, saying nothing, expecting nothing.

But in the past few days, I had to admit, I was expectingmore. I was—

"Miramashi," I heard Pari's gorgeous voice call out to me.

I turned and saw my baby girl in a blue dress with pigtails, running toward me as fast as her little legs would allow. My heart stuttered, and for a second, I forgot how to breathe. She'd grown up so much. She looked happy. Her curls bounced as she ran, her laughter floating through the air like a song I hadn't heard in so long but still knew by heart.

I went down on my knees and held my arms out. She crashed into me, and I held her close. The world around me blurred. Everything else fell away. All I could see and feel was Pari. My Pari. MyShona.

"Miramashi, I missed you!" she exclaimed, her voice piercing through the fog in my brain. And then she kissed my face, not angry, not upset that I'd abandoned her—just happy to see me again.

Emotions welled inside of me, and I let them take me over. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close, breathing her in, feeling her warmth. I held her tightly, a pressure building inside me in ways I couldn't put into words.

"Pari," I whispered, my voice cracking. "MyShona."

She pulled back slightly, just enough to look up at me with those wide, innocent eyes. "Where have you been,Miramashi?"

I couldn't speak. The lump in my throat was too thick, my emotions too raw. I hugged her again in response, holding her as if letting go would break something inside me. I hadn't realized how much I had missed her until this moment, how much of myself I had shut off to survive.

"Mira." I heard Beau's voice behind me, and the spell broke, but only slightly. I looked up and saw him, watching us with a mixture of relief andjoy. I had been putting it off, seeing Pari—not sure how I'd feel, how he would feel, and worried that Pari would reject me.

"Hey, darlin'." He knelt beside us, resting a hand on Pari's shoulder.

"Miramashiis here, Bodaddy," Pari informed him unnecessarily.

"So she is, Angel."

I swallowed hard. I thought I had built walls strong enough to keep them out, but with Pari in my arms, those walls fell. They'd always been fragile, flimsy. I just hadn't known until now.

We took a walk, but this time it wasn't just Beau and me—Pari was between us, holding our hands. Every now and then, she'd run off to explore something, but she always came right back.

Pari talked incessantly about everything and anything. Filling me in on what was happening in her life.

Beau had told me that she'd started going to daycare, not regularly but often enough to get used to the idea. He'd started to work from home more, but when he went to the office, he took Pari along as he had a daycare there for employees.

I didn't ask and Beau didn't explain why he had decided it was time for me to see Pari again. How had he known that I needed this right now when even I didn't? How could he see that this was part of my healing when I couldn't?

It made me feel…loved.

For a moment, it felt normal. Like we were just another family out for a Saturday stroll.

We passed people playing frisbee, kids on scooters, couples lounging on picnic blankets. The sun was soft against the sky, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I almost felt like I belonged in the world again. Like I could breathe properly again.

We stopped at an ice cream cart near the fountain. Beau bought a cone for Pari while I stood off to the side, watching them. She chose strawberry, of course, and Beau handed it to her with a smile, ruffling her hair. His love for her was obvious—never in question.

Then he handed me a vanilla cone, and for a moment, I hesitated. As our fingers brushed, that small, innocent touch sent a shiver down my spine.

"Thank you," I murmured, looking anywhere but at him.

"Hey, you okay, darlin'?" he asked with such tenderness that I wanted to burst into tears. I'd been pushing him away for what felt like eons, and yet, he was here, not leaving my side.

He'd shown up at Savannah Lace that day when my parents had ambushed Nina. He'd told me later that Rachel had called him to let him know, and he'd basically run from his office building on the riverfront to ours in downtown. That wasn't the behavior of a man who didn't care. That was a man who wanted to be there during the good times and bad, but especially the bad ones. I'd collapsed and he'd held me up, promising to never let me go. And he hadn't. He'd walked with me to Dr. Ryan's office which was a few blocks away from home. He waited until my session was over, and walked me back home. He did that every day. Not demanding anything more than being allowed to be with me.

It wasn't like Beau wasn't a busy man. He was. Yet he made time for me—and I knew that he was either with me, at work, or with Pari.

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