Page 88 of Best Kept Secret

Anil stood up slowly, his face hardening as he tried to go toe-to-toe with me. He was several inches shorter and about fifty pounds of muscle lighter.

"I think you've overstayed your welcome, Beau."

I chuckled. "You're a bully, Anil. But I'm not a ten-year old child. I'm a grown ass man who knows pretty much every judge, politician, and cop in Georgia. Your days are fuckin' numbered."

"Get out," Seema screeched, standing by her man.

I took a step forward, not backing down an inch. "You're going to stay the hell away from Mira. You're not going to contact her, you're not going to show up at her job, and you're sure as hell not going to play these games anymore. Because if you do, I swear to God, I will burn down your whole fucking life." I paused dramatically and smiled maliciously. "Well, probably gonna do that anyway."

For the first time, I saw therealAnil Sen—the cold, calculating man who had spent his life manipulating everyone around him. His lips curled into a small, humorless smile. "You don't know who you're dealing with."

I leaned in, my voice deadly calm. "Neither do you." I grinned then. "Y'all have a nice day. You don't have manyniceones left. Mark my fuckin' words."

I turned and walked out of the house, anger still burning inside me as I stepped back into the cool evening air. The sun was setting over the perfectly manicured lawns, casting long shadows across the pristine driveways. This was their world, and they thought it made them untouchable, insulated by wealth and power—but I was richer, bigger, andbadder.

Chapter 35

Mira

Getting better was not linear. Some days it was good, and then you had a couple of bad days. When that happened for the first time, I was scared that I was back to being depressed—but I realized that I'd have to learn to not be afraid of the dark days, and understand that this waslife,and I was strong enough to overcome the tough times.

I was feeling better about a lot of things, but I was struggling with the idea of Pari. We talked on the phone, and I knew she missed me less—of course, she did. Kids got over people. Isn't that what I wanted? A part of me still did, but I missed her. She'd been my life for two and a half years, and suddenly she wasn't. Iached for her and was tempted to give in and move back in with Beau, or at least go over and see her. Hold her. Hug her.

To his credit, Beau didn't pressure me. But I knew he was juggling his time between being with me and taking care of Pari. I'd told him she should come first, but he'd responded that, thanks to his wealth, he had the resources to take care of both herandme.

I'd never been anyone's priority before—but over the past few weeks, Beau had proven that I mattered to him. I almost believed him when he said he loved me, though I still couldn't fully wrap my head around it. I'd talked to Dr. Ryan about it.

"But if my own parents couldn't love me, how can Beau?"

"Your parents are narcissistic sociopaths, Mira. They're not normal, so you can't gauge your value through them—in fact, you can't gauge your value through anyone but yourself," Dr. Ryan said.

Easy enough forherto say. Ididn't knowwhat I was worth. All my life, I'd felt like...trash. Even now, the memory of Beau packing my things in a garbage bag tugged at me; it felt like he'd finally realized that's who I really was.

"I haven't thrown that black trash bag away. It's still in the closet," I confessed to Dr. Ryan.

"Why do you still have it?" she inquired.

"So, I don't forget that…for a while there, Beau thought I was trash."

"Do you think he still thinks that?"

"No."

"Then why not let that bag go?"

"We'd only been together a month, and he took it all away. What if we're together longer and he does it again? How many Ambiens will I need then?"

Like I said, healing wasnotlinear.

There were other days when I talked to Dr. Ryan and I told her that I was ready to see Pari, but I just needed to spend more time with myself.

"Mira, there is no timetable on this," Dr. Ryan assured me.

"But Pari is growing up and I'm missing out on all of it. I'm not there to help her, take care of her."

"Pari is being taken care of by her father, who is a loving parent, and a whole bunch of family members. You're twenty-two, it's okay for you to take a short break from parenting. It's okay to be selfish and focus on yourself."

But with every passing day, I was getting desperate to be with my baby girl. Fear and need were clashing against one another inside of me. It was exhausting at times. But Dr. Ryan told me I needn't worry—she was confident that I'd find my way.