Page 28 of In the Midst of Chaos

That all changed the moment we kissed. I turned to look at Nash, and even in the dark, his profile caused butterflies in me. I already knew how it felt to be adored by Nashton Crull. It was sweet and innocent. All his best intentions were for me. But I wanted to be loved by him. To have all his darkness swallow me whole. To taste his rage and let it fuel my own. I wanted to fall in love and be crippled with fear at the thought of losing them, and in return, I wanted someone to feel that way about me. To have them go to the ends of the world and make a deal with the devil themselves to keep me.

I wanted someone to love me enough to choose me over my legacy. To see me over my last name. I wanted someone to fight for me because losing me was not an option. Most of all, I wanted that person to be Nash.

The bed dipped with his weight, and I felt as if I was being suffocated with his presence. The sad thing was that I wanted to drown in him. I wanted us to be buried under the weight of our crowns.

Five minutes passed, and although he was facing away from me, I knew he wasn’t sleeping.

“Finnie,” he growled. “Stop staring at me.”

I smiled into the pillow at his annoyed tone.

“I’m not staring at you,” I lied.

“You are,” he said, frustrated.

“I’m—”

“You don’t think I can’t feel it when you look at me?”

Tingles spread through my lower belly. He could tell when I looked at him? He acted like I didn’t even exist at times.

“Do you mind it?”

There was a long enough pause that I thought he had fallen asleep.

“I should,” he said, sounding resigned.

His words elated me beyond measure. Feeling brave, I scooted over to him.

Nash stiffened when he felt me at his back.

“Finley,” he warned.

“I think about that kiss all the time,” I said, ignoring his warning.

At that, he turned around, and I could see the shine of his eyes illuminated with the lightning. He pierced me with a look, and even if I could, I didn’t want to move.

“It shouldn’t have happened.”

Sighing, I sat up again and looked down at him.

“Let’s pretend that I wasn’t promised tohim—then what?” I didn’t dare say his name because speaking it would make it real.

He swallowed and then spoke in a throaty voice that did funny things to me.

“You’d be mine.”

I was about to smile triumphantly, but he spoke again.

“Just like I know when your eyes are on me, I also know when his are on you.”

Closing my eyes, I reached for him. Surprisingly, he let me. I ran my hands through his wet hair. He let out a low moan when I massaged his scalp. I did it for several minutes until I was sure he was sleeping.

Without thinking, I bent my head to give him a peck on the lips. It was featherlight and forbidden. He tasted like blood and mint. The moment our lips touched, his eyes opened, and he glared at me.

One second I was leaning over him. The next, he had me pinned down on the bed.

“Fucking hell, Finnie, you couldn’t leave it alone,” he groaned.

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