“Nothing for you to worry about,” she told me as she got up. She went to one of the cupboards and pulled out a key. “He started to lock his door since he turned fourteen.”

She slid the key my way, and I grabbed it with no hesitation. I didn’t get to make any excuse or deny it.

“You know what I wished I had done when I was younger? Marry for love and not for power,” she said as she left the kitchen.

I watched her leave and found it very sad but not surprising. I always knew my father loved me more than he loved my mother.

We married for power, not for love, because marrying the person you loved would leave you blind.

At least that’s what I heard my father tell Gunner once upon a time. It was unfortunate, but I understood it.

With the key in hand, I continued into his room. Nashton’s chambers led to the pool, and he had his own side entrance. Perks of being the eldest.

I didn’t allow myself to think about why Eleanor gave me the key. I told myself it was because she knew that his room was at the lowest point in the house and the storm wouldn’t seem as scary there.

His chambers were spacious, covered in blacks and chromes. The whole place smelled like him. If I could, I wish I could go back to the day where he tried to protect me from my father’s rabid dogs because that was the day I started to love him. I would have told myself that love wasn’t for people like us.

Removing my pants, I lay under the covers, and I hugged his pillow until sleep overtook me.

Sometime later, there was a crash during the night. I sat up, hugging the pillow to my chest.

“Da fuck,” Nashton growled.

He came to where I was sitting up. He reached for the lamp on the nightstand and turned it on. I looked up at him through sleepy, scared eyes. His eyes softened, and his shoulders dropped.

“You still scared of storms?”

I bit my lip and nodded.

He stepped more toward the light, and I could see his lip was bleeding. Fighting wasn’t unusual for the guys and the Disciples.

He reached out to stroke my cheek. He smelled like rain, weed, and leather. It was intoxicating to my senses.

“Are you mad at me?”

Nash sucked in a breath.

“I could never be mad at you,” he admitted.

“Can I stay?”

He ran a hand through his hair, causing droplets of water to fall out.

Lightning struck outside, illuminating the room.

He didn’t say anything. He just nodded, and at that moment, I felt a current of lust running from my chest to between my legs.

Before he could change his mind, I scooted over so he could get in bed with me.

“I shouldn’t,” he said with no conviction.

“When the chaos fades, we can pretend none of this was ever real.”

Nash didn’t say anything; instead, he removed his wet shirt. I lay down so he couldn’t see how much I was starting to need him. He would push me away if he saw need in my eyes. I heard the clank of his jeans and the thud his shoes made. My heart was thumping like a drum, waiting for the moment he got in bed with me. So close, yet there would always be an invisible wall.

He wasn’t wearing any clothes except his boxers, and I needed him like I had never needed anyone before.

I used to think I was broken because no one interested me enough to kiss. Sex wasn’t even on my mind but something my mother had explained to me once upon a time.