Page 132 of The Duke and the Disciple

Aesylt pushed out of her chair and paced to the other side of the modest room. “I had to tell you everything before I made my proposal. It would have been wrong and unfair to say what I’m going to say next when you still know me as who I was before.”

Valerian stood but didn’t immediately go to her. “You want to get married, right? To fix what others can’t.”

She whipped her head up in surprise. “How did you guess?”

“Aessy, Aessy, Aessy.” He clucked his tongue, grinning. “Why else would you send for me, huh? Why else would you risk making things worse, unless you had a plan to make them better?”

“I...” She sagged against the wall. “All right. Yes. That’s my proposal, that we handle this ourselves. But you need to know what you’re getting into if you accept. I do care about you. Iloveyou. You’re a part of me, and... You always will be. I willnotdeceive you, especially about this. I shouldn’t love him still, V, but I do. I love him so cursed much, I feel like...” She raised both hands to her chest. “Like I’m cracking open, splitting from the inside.”

Valerian went to her and gathered her in his arms. Nothing she’d said had hurt as much as the heartbreak in her voice when talking about the man who had broken her. If there were time, he’d deal with the man himself, knock some sense into him. “He has no idea what he’s walked away from, Aessy. No idea. But I do.” He kissed the top of her head, sliding his mouth down to her temple.

“It’s my fault for breaking the rules. Iknewwhy we were doing it. I knew, andIbroke the rules. Me.”

“Aesylt, the only question is how he could experience all that with you andnotfall in love.” On the many hours it had taken Valerian to ride to her, he’d run through every scenario he could imagine, and all of them led back to Aesylt and Rahn. The moment Valerian had met Rahn Tindahl, it seemed as though the man had been made for Aesylt, and Valerian hadn’t been able to compete with that. The scholar was everything Valerian was not, but Valerian knew what he had. “I’m not threatened. Not by what you did at Revelry. Not even by the man you love more than... well, more than you could love me. I don’t need you to love me that much. I don’t believe we’remeantto feel that powerfully about anything for long. Marriage is less about love, in my estimation, than companionship. Respect. I respect your love for him, and I respect you. That’s enough for me.” He cupped her face in his hands with a soft laugh. “So I accept, Aesylt. Because both of us could do far worse for ourselves than a good friend, aye?” He kissed the corner of her mouth. “And you don’t need to drink the tea. I’m here for whatever comes.”

Chapter25

The Consequences of Their Rebellion

By noontide the following day, Aesylt was Valerian Barynov’s wife.

Those were not the names they’d given the local minister, but all they needed was a signed, legal document they could take back to Witchwood Cross as evidence. They’d offered twice the coin for Minister Elfreth to leave their names blank so they could fill them in themselves later.

They’d paid for discretion but received so much more. Minister Elfreth and his sister, Faustina, had invited them to their modest home for a celebration meal, and it was Valerian who’d insisted they go and enjoy at least one peaceful meal before they returned to the Cross and faced the consequences of their rebellion.

The siblings brimmed with so much unexpected warmth, Aesylt couldn’t decide whether to be suspicious or grateful. Smiling, she watched them shuffle in and out of the kitchen, laughing about some story from their youth they’d obviously revisited many times from the way they were finishing each other’s sentences.

Valerian had a soft, hazy glow on his cheeks as he observed their easy way with each other. A great sadness came over Aesylt when it struck her that his family had never been anything like that, at least not since the Nok Mora had taken both of his sisters from him.

“The two of you seem to have such a special relationship,” Aesylt said as everyone settled at the small table in the partitioned room.

“Twins,” Elfreth explained when they all had their stew and cider. “Though Fossy is ten minutes earlier, as she’s wont to remind me.”

“Only when you’re being a self-righteous ass,” Faustina teased, pointing her thick wooden spoon at him. “What you really want to know is... Why are two old bats like ourselves living together and not with families of our own?”

“Well, no, I wasn’t?—”

“I’m not admonishing you for curiosity, dear. I’d want to know as well.” She locked eyes with her brother. “Elfreth chose a minister’s life, of course. And Iwasmarried, you see, many years past. I was a different woman then, and so was my husband. Nothing ever troubled us overlong, and we believed there was nothing we couldn’t overcome, until we realized my body couldn’t carry a healthy child.” She smiled wistfully. “The one thing he wanted more than me was a family, but even that wouldn’t have made him leave. So I did it for him. Told him what he needed to hear to hate me, so he could find a better future for himself. And he did, last I heard. Moved to the Southerlands and even has great-grandchildren now.”

Aesylt had not been expecting such candid disclosure. No one in her life had ever been so open with strangers, and certainly not about pain. “That must have been very hard for you.”

“Hm? Oh, at the time, I suppose.” Faustina waved away the suggestion with a gentle laugh. “Not all heartaches age with us.”

“Planning a big family of your own?” Elfreth asked between sips of stew.

Aesylt glanced at Valerian, both of them grinning through their awkwardness. Most marriages started with such questions already answered, but there’d been no time to consider any of their dreams or wishes. The only thing theyhaddiscussed was Valerian’s willingness to father Rahn’s child, should there be one. Discussed wasn’t quite the right word though, because while he’d offered, Aesylt had never answered. Children were not in any vision she had for her own future, and she’d been so overwhelmed, she hadn’t factored in Val’s wishes on the matter.

The question only reminded her that while she had left the scholar, and her heart, in Wulfsgate, a part of him was still with her.

“Gonna start tonight,” Valerian said, giving her a soft elbow. She turned her eyes on her bowl.

“That’s the spirit!” Elfreth exclaimed and clinked his mug to Valerian’s. “I like a young man who knows what he has. Women are the fabric of this world.” He turned toward his sister and started in on some recollection about a traveling organist who had come through the village several seasons past.

I’m married. To V. Possibly carrying the child of a man who wants nothing to do with me.

“Aessy?” Valerian whispered. “Everything all right?”

Aesylt swallowed, nodding and trying to smile.Married.

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