Page 97 of One Touch

She laughed. “I’m trying not to. It feels like a surefire way to get hurt.”

“You think you could trust a man again?”

“No.” She savaged her burger. “Maybe. I don’t know. It would have to be . . . special.”

“Special. Right.”

She took a long drink of her soda, and then looked out at the ocean. “What was she like, Ethan? Marie?”

I blinked, taken aback by the question. I didn’t want to shy away from answering it, though. “Well, she was, uh, she was very sweet.” I nudged Lily. “Like you.” I winced. “Oh, shit. I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, you’re nothing like each other.”

Lily smiled kindly. “It’s okay. I’m not offended. I just want to know. I never knew her that well. Just that the two of you had something special and her death sent shockwaves through the entire community. I couldn’t bear the thought of two people who were meant to be together being ripped apart like that, so I may have gone overboard on the doorstep lasagnas in the months after she died.”

I reached out for Lily’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “What you did for me and Ava was so, so kind. She won’t even remember it now, but those little heart-shaped cookies you used to bake for her . . . and those tubs of crackers and dips and crunchy vegetable snacks . . . it was deeply appreciated.”

Lily had tears in her eyes. “I’m glad it helped.”

I took a long, deep breath, staring out at the ocean. “Marie and I were together since high school. We grew up together. It wasn’t the romance of the century or anything. It was just . . . safe. And warm. And good. She was a kind person. We were both quite serious people, I guess. Eager to grow up and have a family and be responsible members of the community. I never even entertained the idea of being with anyone else. We just worked. We were a team.”

Lily nodded. “I guess what we’re going through is kind of the opposite of that. Chaotic, uncertain. Irresponsible.”

“Lily,” I said, shaking my head. “What you and I have been doing . . . it’s completely different. I’m not the same person I was ten years ago. And you’re not Marie. You’re . . . Lily Lane.”

And you’re setting my heart on fire.

“You know,” Lily said, still tearful “last time we had sex was like, I don’t even know how to describe it, it was like, I forgot who I was.”

I nodded. “I know what you mean. It’s intense.”

Lily laughed nervously. “I guess we’re compatible. Sexually.”

“Sexually,” I echoed. I let my eyes linger on her pink lips, let my mind think about what I’d like to do with her, right here, right now, on this beach.

I saw Lily draw a heart in the sand and then scribble it out.

“You ever wonder,” I asked, my mouth dry, “what would happen if we broke every single rule on that damn list?”

I saw her breath catch. “We’d fall in love.”

“You think?”

“I’m sure of it. You can’t do all that stuff and not fall in love.”

“Even though love doesn’t exist?”

“Yep. You enter this kind of fugue state where you think you’re in love, and you act like you’re in love, and then everything falls apart around you.”

“We better not break them, then.”

“Right.”

I paused, my heart racing. “So, you’re thinking about selling the bookstore?”

“Mmhmm. Maybe.”

“Being an agent in the city?”

“Yeah.”

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