Page 90 of Broken Bonds

I smile and do the same.

This alpha is quickly worming his way into my heart, no matter how hard I’ve tried to stop it.

* * *

Later that night, I’m in bed with the journal I found in Lovelace. Forde and I hung out at the diner for a while after I apologized. I told him all about the places we visited, and even about the spooky occurrences that happened in Lovelace. We ate and enjoyed each other’s company, something I’d missed.

I run my fingers along the leather of the cover, the engraved letters of the name, feeling a sense of connection to whatever is in here. Maybe there are answers to where the Lovelace’s disappeared to or why. Something.

I open it, unconcerned about which page I start on and excited about the possibility of getting answers. The elegance of Corinne’s handwriting is lovely, with her letters flowing smoothly and effortlessly across the page in a swirling dance.

March 19, 1898

Travis is sick. Despite Doctor Henry’s best efforts, he is unsure about the ailment that is affecting my alpha, which leaves me feeling anxious. Despite my repeated pleas to my men to find a replacement for the old doctor, they have stubbornly refused to act on my advice, causing me much frustration and disappointment. They have too much faith in Henry. I do not. I am not willing to take any risks, especially with the life of my alpha.

Travis’ health is deteriorating with each passing day. Despite his assurances that everything is fine, I have an unsettling feeling that something is genuinely wrong. Despite his efforts to conceal it within our bond, I can detect a noticeable decrease in the strength of our connection. Michael and Martin can too. I am aware of their whispers during the night when they assume I am not within earshot or have fallen asleep.

I have seen what a broken bond has done to a pack, watched as another omega suffered until he withered away after his loss. Father lost Ma, Mama, and Mother during childbirth. All three alphas had fallen pregnant during one of father’s heats when I was only fourteen. None of them made it through the births. None of my siblings survived either. Watching as father withered away until eventually joining my brothers and sister and all three of my mothers, leaving me alone, was agony. I don’t want to be alone again.

My prayers have gone unanswered every night, and I fear the gods are ignoring my pleas. I am left to wonder why they have abandoned me in this time of need.

Please, if you hear me, save him. I cannot live without him. I beg of you to heal him.

I swipe a tear away and look up from the journal for a moment. She lost them, didn’t she? Why does nobody know of this story?

I read on through the night, starting at the beginning of the journal this time. Corinne’s journal starts out filled with stories of her falling in love with her alphas. She speaks of them finding Lovelace, her alphas gifting the town to her as a courting gift, and of the growth the town goes through. And then her words get more despondent. The sicker her alpha gets, the more heartbreaking her entries become.

When Travis passes, her entries become shorter. She buried him herself in the meadow behind their home. Nobody in town even knew he was sick except the doctor, and according to one of her entries, he passed two months before Travis did.

Corinne goes on to speak of how her other alphas deteriorated day by day, their pain from losing their packmate and lover too unbearable, until they both took their lives together only six months after Travis died of his unknown illness. She also buried them in the meadow.

Once they were gone, she put the things most important to them in the attic. What little furniture she could move up there herself, portraits and other pictures she’d accumulated over the years, and gifts her alphas had given her while courting. The last thing she put up there is the box that I found that held the journal, letters, and a few pieces of jewelry. Those pieces, she writes, are her most treasured.

Her last entry breaks my heart. It’s dated only four days after she writes of burying Martin and Michael.

January 21, 1900

The remnants of the love we once shared, the home we crafted, our beautiful memories, now exist solely ingrained into the foundations of this empty dwelling. The love we once had hung on these walls and walked barefoot across these floors. But there is a fracture that will not pause. Straight through my heart, out through the doors. This home has been hollowed out, just like my heart. They all left and took a piece of me. They took all the pieces that made me… me.

Am I to forever be haunted by what used to be?

With each heavy breath, I walk through this maze of memories where they all used to be. Everything feels paused in a loop, in a state of winter so cold and so dark.

Lonely.

The essence of our home passed on with my alphas. Our bonds shattered between a wall not of our design. A wall separating me from what’s mine. The barrier between life and death.

I step into endless summers knowing in my heart they will all be there. Down in the meadow, where I laid them all to rest, that’s where I’ll be. I know in my heart.

Together forever and never apart.

I hold on to the hope that one day this residence will once again provide shelter to love, but the keepers of my heart have departed and without the essence of shared love, this home is just flesh and bones of a now skeletal home.

I will be with them for eternity in the meadows of Lovelace, where we will always watch over our home.

I blow out a breath as I close the book, wiping my eyes.

She killed herself out where she buried them, and nobody ever knew. Nobody ever knew that they all died. Corinne kept everyone away once Travis got sick, overly protective of him and who was near him.

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