Page 47 of Broken Bonds

“To a certain extent, I suppose. I feel your pain as easily as I feel my own. But you also have another purpose in life to keep going. I know you’ll heal and grow, despite how shitty things are for you right now. So, no. Not entirely.”

That’s… not the response I was expecting, but truthfully, it’s one I’m actually pleased with. Linda arrives with our food and puts it down in front of us. The smell of garlic and parmesan, fried potatoes, and a huge, succulent burger, with every topping imaginable, includingonion rings, is enough to make my stomach growl loudly with anticipation, which makes Forde grin like a lunatic.

There’s no way I’ll finish all of this, but I’m absolutely going to give it my best try. Forde has even more food than me, and I can’t imagine how he could think he’ll finish it all, but he just tells me he can do it. I groan when I take my first bite of the burger, flavors bursting across my tongue for the first time in what feels like forever. It nearly brings tears to my eyes. Forde is staring at me with his own burger halfway to his open mouth, and I feel a blush creep down my throat.

“Sorry,” I mumble through a full mouth, covering my lips with my hand.

He shakes his head, and a grin falls into place easily. “Try the fries.”

I do and groan again because, gods, that’s delicious. He wears a proud expression and smirks at me when I look back at him.

“Told you so.”

I roll my eyes and throw my napkin at him, laughing slightly.

We eat while we banter back and forth about lighter topics, like our favorite hobbies, movies, or books. It’s… nice, and before I realize it, I’ve eaten over half of my burger and all of my fries. It’s probably the most food I’ve been able to stomach in weeks and I don’t feel like I’m going to throw it up, which feels like an enormous accomplishment. I guess destroying a room builds an appetite in you.

I also note that Forde did, indeed, eat everything he ordered like he said he would, and I just want to know where he put it all.

When Linda comes back to take our plates, Forde orders me a chocolate milkshake, even though I tell him there’s no way I have room left for one. He narrows his eyes on me and tells me he promised to stuff me full and he’s holding up his end of the deal.

“Besides, I promised to tell you about my sister, and you might want that milkshake afterwards to make you feel better, or something. I don’t know,” he says, puffing out his cheeks and running his fingers through his white hair.

“Okay,” I relent, swallowing thickly.

I doubt I’ll be able to stomach a milkshake, but I won’t argue with him.

Once the milkshake is set in front of me and Linda has stepped away once again, Forde leans forward and rests his arms on the tabletop, clasping his hands together. He stares intently at the table and is quiet for several seconds. I stay silent and don’t push him, sliding the milkshake a little to the side and sitting up straight, waiting patiently.

“Celia was only a year younger than me, and we were thick as thieves. It was clear early on she would present as an omega, but that didn’t stop her from acting like a mini alpha.” He chuckles, shaking his head, and my own lips tilt up. “She could be so damn bossy, and everyone listened to her, despite her being younger and smaller than them. It only got worse as she got older, much to our mother’s dismay. Celia didn’t act like the omega our mother thought she should be. Demure and quiet. Submissive.”

His eyes roll so far in the back of his head at that, I worry they might get stuck. A scoff escapes him at the absurdity. You can tell how much he loved his sister with how fondly he talks about her, the subtle smile on his lips or the love shining in his eyes as he recounts their childhoods together. How they were always the closest two out of all their siblings. They were each other’s best friend.

“No matter how much our mom tried to change her, Celia stayed true to herself. She was a free spirit, which is something I always admired about her. When I presented as an alpha and left for AOA, she was so sad to see me go, but made me promise I’d try to find my pack while there so I wouldn’t be lonely. I didn’t find the guys until my second year, as you know, but I made friends so that every time Celia called, she wouldn’t be worried about me. And then she presented as an omega like we all figured she would and joined me at the same AOA. It wasn’t until her last year that she met her alphas.”

“Macon, Phillipe, and Trent were great alphas, and I really liked them. Our mother didn’t approve, of course, because they were average men from average families, but Celia didn’t care. She told me she knew they were meant for her and then asked me since when had she ever cared what our mother thought. So, despite Mom’s protests, they bonded as soon as they graduated.”

He releases a shuddering breath before continuing and I’m not sure I want to hear the rest, but he’s being so open with me right now, baring his soul. I can’t tell him to stop.

“They did really well for themselves for a few years. Moved to Seattle, something I could never understand with all the rain, and settled in as they got used to being a pack. Celia had started teaching kindergarten and was beyond excited because she loved kids. She couldn’t wait for them to start trying for a family, but they’d decided to hold off a couple of years to make sure they were in a good place financially. And I’m sure they wanted time with just them before children came into the picture,” he says with a sad smile that makes my chest ache.

I rub the center of my chest, trying to make that ache disappear, but it only grows stronger the more he talks.

“She was unbelievably happy with them, and I’m grateful every day that in the end she had them, despite the outcome,” he says, finally looking up at me with those entrancing violet eyes shining.

“The way she lost her alphas differs from how you lost yours. She didn’t lose all of them at once. She lost them gradually over the span of several months, which I don’t think helped matters. Phillipe was gone first. It was a few years after they’d all bonded. Phillipe found out he had cancer, but he found out too late. By the time he realized just how sick he was, it had reached a terminal stage. He chose not to go through chemo just to prolong the inevitable and be miserable during his last days with his omega and lovers. When he died, Macon, Trent, and Celia lost themselves. Losing that bond broke something in them all and slowly, they just… let themselves fade away. Died of broken hearts is what we were told, something I didn’t even think was actually possible for people so young. Celia held on the longest, but once Trent died, she completely shut down.”

My face is wet with tears as I feel an immense amount of pain for the giant alpha that’s in front of me. I have an exceptionally powerful urge to offer him a big hug or cuddle in response to all that he has gone through, which is a bit unexpected. I want to offer him the same care and attention an alpha would usually give an omega when they’re in distress,

“She was struggling so bad when Phillipe died, but when Macon was gone only a few months later, things gradually got worse. I was with her when she passed. When all of them passed. I’d left Link and Rion back home and flown out to stay with her when I realized how bad things had gotten after Phillipe was gone. I tried so hard to get them all to snap out of it. To get Trent and Macon to live for their omega, but her grief only exacerbated theirs. They were all cycling their grief through their bonds, so it was like everything was magnified tenfold.”

He releases another deep breath, and then reaches for my hands and holds them in his as he looks into my eyes unflinchingly.

“I watched my sister give up all hope and will to live after she lost her alphas. I watched her wither away until she was just gone one night. She took her last breath with me by her side because she refused to allow anyone else around her. I tried as hard as I could to bring her back from the dark place she’d slipped into, but I couldn’t. And when I look at you, I see her all over again. Except, through all that sadness and grief and pain, I can also see something else inside of you. Something so much stronger that’s willing to fight and help you claw your way out. That’s why I want to help you fight. I want to see you rise from the ashes so much stronger andalive. Just let me be your friend and help you,” he implores me, so much sincerity in his gaze.

My chest rises and falls rapidly, and I sniffle as I feel my nose starting to run.

What he went through. What his sister went through. Pain so much like my own, but somehow her loss seems so much greater and worse.

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