Page 64 of Ho Ho Oh No

Phew. It wasn’t the bad guys chasing us.

Once Tomer determines it’s clear, we follow them into the conference room where the screaming originated. We breeze in as an even louder pained wail than before rattles the windows.

Shit. It’s Sammy.

Writhing in pain, she lies on her side on the floor. Her legs tuck up close to her swollen belly, putting her in the closest thing to the fetal position she can manage. Sawyer is kneeling on one side of her. Leo’s on the other.

Shocked faces greet us. Everyone’s gathered but unsure what to do. My eyes land on the back of Kri’s dress, partially unzipped. Guess we know what she and Shep were up to. Doing her a solid, I discreetly zip it for her.

Kri throws a grateful look over her shoulder at me.

Demonstrating impressive calmness under pressure, Tomer speaks up first. “I’ll bring my SUV around to the front. Stay here.” Without waiting for a response, he gives me a peck on my cheek and releases my hand.

“Don’t go alone,” Boss orders. “Pair up.”

Jonesy and Aaron spring into action, trailing Tomer at a fast clip.

Sawyer wedges his arm under Sammy’s upper back, attempting to lift her. “Princess, they’re bringing the car around. Let’s get you downstairs.”

“No. Can’t move.Argh!” she wails, batting his hand away. “It hurts too much.”

“I know, baby. But we need to get you to the hospital.”

“Fuuuck,” she yells at the top of her lungs, the curse morphing into an ear-piercing scream better than you’d hear in any slasher flick.

Dang. Sammy has a fantastic horror movie scream. That would have been good to know during spooky season. There’s always next year.

Ah, thanks, dear ADHD squirrel. He always reports for duty right when I need him, providing a lovely distraction from the sympathy pains I’ll likely start having soon.

Ignoring Sammy’s protests, Leo and Sawyer work together to scoop her up and carry her out. They’re met at the conference room door by a frazzled Sue and Mrs. Mason.

“Was it the broccoli?” Sue yells in an utter panic, making no sense at all.

Madeline cups her cheeks, sucking in an excited gasp. “Sammy! Is it time, my sweet girl?”

“Sweet?” Leo frowns, shakes his head, and mouths the word,No.

Despite carrying his sister out of a holiday party while she’s in immeasurable pain, he still manages to tease her. Having gotten to know Sammy the way I have lately, I’d wager she appreciates it wholeheartedly.

She flips her head around like the Exorcist, pinning her brother with a glare that would make Medusa proud. “Fuck off, you jolly green giant jackass.”

Well, she’ll appreciate his teasing tomorrow.

Sue and Madeline move aside, giving them room to pass.

“Oh my fecking hell,” Sue blubbers, her face blanching like she’s seen a ghost. “Not the broccoli. It’s happening. Oh no. Ohnooo. What do we do?”

Nah. Not a ghost. More like a glimpse of her near future. It’s mine as well. But she gets to go first. Lucky her.

On frozen feet, Sue flaps her hands in front of her like her nails are wet, which makes the hundredth odd thought I’ve had since the party went to shit.

From somewhere down the hall, Leo hollers, “Boss, bring Sue and Mom with you.”

“On it, Lionheart.” He bounds over to Sue and Madeline, wrapping one arm around each of them to lead them out.

So much for presents and reindeer games.

But this iswaybetter. Sammy and Sawyer are having Christmas babies!

---