Page 15 of Ho Ho Oh No

It’s all too familiar. She’s so much like me, and dammit, he’s a lot like Shep.And I’m not going to spend too much time thinking about why that’s a horrible thing. Plenty of time to worry about that stuff later.

Val crosses her arms and shifts her body away from him. It’s a dig. Again, I approve. That’s my move.

Junior notices the diss and blows it off, chuckling subtly while backing up toward the door. “Shep says we’re leaving in ten minutes. That’s why I came in here. See you outside.”

It’s clear she doesn’t want to watch him leave, but even her stubbornness can’t overpower her raging teenage hormones. I notice her eyes drop to his lower body before he closes the door behind him. Her throat bobs.

Son of a bitch. Shep and I are so screwed.

Maybe we should get him reassigned before she does something impulsive and stupid. Like promise him her virginity or worse.

Not sure what might be worse, but I don’t want to spend time thinking about it.

Patiently, I wait for her to face me. It takes a second or two before she’s brave enough to do it.

“All done hate-ogling your bodyguard?” I ask, batting my eyes a ridiculous amount of times.

“Junior?Argh. Gross. Be so for real.” Instantly, she attempts to redirect the subject. Her posture shifts, and her expression warms. “I could use another go. Show me how to reload again, please?”

“Oh, did you just give me a saccharine littleplease?” I widen my eyes in a flourish. “Lettie is rubbing off on you, but it’s too late. Fake manners aren’t going to help after that display, little miss thang.”

“Miss thang?” She tuts three times at me. “Mamason, please don’t tell me the ancient parental is rubbing off on you.”

“Speaking of Shep, if he had been standing here instead of me, Junior would be reassigned by the time the party starts tonight.”

Faltering back a step, she lets her jaw sag. “I didn’t do anything wrong. He’s the one being a fu-forking a-hole again.”

“I told you I don’t care if you cuss, but Idocare about whatever is going on with you and Junior. You need to dial it back. I might be a little more forgiving since I remember being in your shoes—well, sort of—but the male parental won’t get it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she lies, tilting her chin upward as if that will convince me. “And even if I did, it wouldn’t matter becauseil babbois still happy as a pig in shoes after the proposal. I’ve got six, maybe seven more days to act upbefore he’s back to yelling at the darn kids to get off his lawn.” She adds a shake of her fist to top off her impersonation of crotchety old Shep.

I give up trying to hold back my laughter and let it fly. Her relentless attacks on mynewfiancé about his age—who isn’t old—are straight-up comedy gold. And then the way she messed up theLettieismis the icing on thecrack-me-upcake.

“You either need more or less time with Lettie. I haven’t decided which. The expression ishappy as a pig in slop.”

And yes, Shep has been that level of happy since he popped the question in front of most of Redleg in the gym. The fucker proposed instead of tapping out when I had him in a submission hold. Jerk. But I still count it as a grappling win, and it was enough to get Big Al to sign off on my return to duty. Nothing keeps Kri Dayton down for long. Talk about the perfect early present for me.

The proposal was nice too.

“Pig in shoes. Pig in slop. Whatever.” She shrugs. “You got my meaning. So, can you show me how to reload before we need to leave for the party?”

Dropping my chin, I wobble it side to side and roll my eyes to the sky. “Fine. Last round. Because what’s Christmas Eve without firearms?”

“This is ‘Merica, after all,” she quips, complete with a hillbilly accent.

Chapter 4

Something sack-worthy

SHEP

What do you get the woman who has everything?

And by everything, I mean me.

She’s already wearing my ring, parenting with me, sleeping beside me each night, riding my cock at every available opportunity, and living with me—well, when we’re not bunking at Redleg cause of the fucking Bratva scum. Plus, she earned her way back to full duty well ahead of the timeline her doctors predicted. Kri’s kicking ass and taking names like the boss chick she’s always been.

What else could she need?

---