Page 80 of Ho Ho Oh No

Iwantto believe him.

Laci does a quick internal exam, exactly like she’s done several times already. I study every line on her face, waiting with bated breath for the tiniest hint of an explanation. Her eyes sweep around the ceiling, and her mouth hangs open like she’s deep in thought. She’s going completely by touch as she prods around down there.

“There it is,” she mutters to herself. After adjusting her hand, she eyes the fetal monitor closely.

“What’s happening?” I finally blurt out.

She quirks her head to one side, meeting Sawyer’s gaze. “Dad, push the nurse call button for me. I can’t move my hands.”

Sawyer springs into action, hitting the button on the side of the bed rail. The speaker chimes a second later, and a cheery voice answers, “What do you need, Mrs. Sawyer?”

Laci answers for us, her voice tinged with aspecof alarm. “Kimmy, page the doctor and send in a team STAT. I’ve got a handful of umbilical cord.”

“Got it,” Kimmy answers, quickly disconnecting.

Before I go into hysterics, Laci returns to her previously calming demeanor. “Sammy, listen to me. Everything is gonna happen quickly. It’s time to get the babies out.”

I frantically grab Sawyer’s hands with both of mine. Like he’s my lifeline.“Are they okay? What’s with the cord?”

“As baby A’s head descended in the birthing canal, the cord got twisted around her neck. Each time you have a contraction, it constricts the cord, reducing the blood flow and oxygen going to the baby. That’s why her heart rate was struggling. I’ve snuck my hand in there to give her some space. I’m keeping my eye on her vitals, and they’re strong as long as my hand stays here.”

“She’s saving the baby’s life,” Sue mutters from the corner of the room, echoing my thoughts perfectly.

“Just an ordinary day in the maternity ward,” Laci tosses casually.

As she promised, everything shifts into high gear. It happens so quickly I don’t have time to panic further, which is a relief in itself.

The big lights flicker on as someone yanks open the privacy curtain in front of the door. Two nurses bolt toward the bed like women on a mission. One on each side, they grab the chuck pad underneath my bottom and scoot me over with ease. I’m tempted to make a joke to the guys about how effortlessly these two small women moved my fat ass, but it’s not the time for jokes.

I’m filing it away for later, though.

One of the nurses addresses Sawyer with a kind firmness. “Dad, I need you to move aside for a minute.”

Just as dumbstruck as I am, he releases my hands and backs away without speaking.

With her hand still planted inside me to save my baby, Laci rises off the bed, leaning over my legs from a standing position.

The other nurses work in tandem around her to transform the bed into a delivery table. They snap large, padded stirrups into place on both sides and secure my legs in them. The foot of the bed breaks down so there’s only empty space below my butt.

Now, I’m trussed up and fully exposed like a free peep show.

Hope it doesn’t give Sawyer any ideas. Last thing I need is for one of these beds to show up in our house. I wouldn’t put it past him.

Another nurse comes in, pushing a supply cart. Two newborn beds with warmers are wheeled in by other nurses and stationed in the corner.

The flurry of coordinated chaos does a marvelous job of keeping me distracted from worrying excessively about my baby’s heartbeat.

Laci’s standing between my spread legs now, her hand remaining in its life-saving position.

“I’m naming our daughter after you,” I blurt out a second after the thought comes into my mind.

Her smile brightens up the room almost as much as the high-wattage stand light they just wheeled over to shine on my crotch.

Again, Sawyer better not get any ideas.

“Dad, you can go back to her now,” one of the other nurses tells him before looking at me with a warm smile. “You’re in great hands.”

“Right now, I’m in Laci’s hands. So I’d have to agree,” I joke nervously.

---