Page 54 of Ho Ho Oh No

“Lettie, you just gave me the perfect name for their dumb Dom gang.” I pause for dramatic effect. “Let’s call them theDominoes because they’re Doms who we love to tell no. And for a bonus, it provides a lovely mental image of knocking them all down.”

Lettie raises her hand to shoulder height. “Show of hands. All those in favor of Dominoes?”

I proudly extend my arm. “Aye.”

Kri does the same. “Sold.”

Lettie shimmies her shoulders, clapping in front of her chest. “Motion carries unanimously.”

Feeling giddy and possibly drunk, I hold out my palm for a high-five. Lettie lifts her hand to meet mine, then freezes it in mid-air. Her thighs slam together as her eyes roll into the back of her head.

“Oh no, no,nooo,” she moans.

Yes.Moans.

I rise, determined to strip Tomer of the remote, when she clamps both her hands on mine to hold me in place.

Through gritted teeth, she races through a litany of names, all conveying her aggravation at the continuednot-so-funishment. “Pecker head partnership. Circle jerk cooperative. The league of extraordinary jackasses. Fuck face federation.”

Then she releases my hands.

Same as before, she essentially collapses the second after he turns it off.

Well, I presume he turned it off.

Either that or she came, and I’m not sure how I feel about holding her hands while that happens. I need at least one more eggnog before I’ll entertain any ideas about helping the other members of the Brat Pack through a climax.

Around a sigh, she breathes out a relieved, “Heavens to Betsy.”

“Are you okay?” I ask, barely able to get the words past my rising giggle fit.

Her grin spreads diabolically wide. “And the worst part of all this is...” She pauses, glancing between me and my girl crush. “None of this has distracted me from wondering whether the guys really put their dicks in them boxes or not.”

Chapter 15

Snow angel and a cool mom

LEO

My mother’s beaming smile is the first thing I notice when she breezes into the party a few steps behind Boss. She’s radiating tonight. The second thing I notice is she’snotwearing the costume Sammy picked for her.

Lots of that happening since I’m no longer in an ugly sweater, thanks to my angel’s affinity for throwing shit at me. I’m not mad about it, considering it’s too damn hot in Clearwater for a sweater. Even in December.

Besides, how could I ever be mad at my angel for something so trivial? It’s like she’s always saying—I knew who she was when I married her.

And I’d do it a million times over again.

I bend down to kiss Mom’s cheek. “What happened to the Mrs. Claus costume? I thought you were going to coordinate with Big Al.”

There’s still a bite to my tone when I mention the two of them in any couple-adjacent capacity. Lots of feelings still to sort through.

Ever since she was shot, we’ve been focused on other things. Other than a few words in passing, I haven’t discussed it with Big Al. And Mom’s acted like there’s nothing to talk about. Ilet her get away with it because I honestly haven’t had time to figure out my feelings on the matter. As for them being together? That’s fine with me. He’s a great man who will treat her the way she deserves. Hell, I’d go so far as to say I’m thrilled about their relationship.

It’s the secrecy that stings.

Sure, we teased them about it for a while, and we all had our suspicions. It was fun to see them dance around it. Yet the oddest thing happened once they were outed—it stopped being funny. Somehow, the confirmation of what we all knew made it almost painful to me.

Eventually, I’ll figure out why it matters so much.

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