Page 53 of His Mate

“But it wasn’t enough. The wolves… they were stronger, faster than any of us.” He paused, his jaw tight. “I found her. She’d been attacked by one of them. I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t protect her.”

I felt my heart twist in my chest, a knot forming in my throat at the thought of Rowan finding Eva like that, of losing someone heloved so deeply in such a brutal way. I couldn’t imagine the pain of it, the guilt he must have carried all this time. “I’m so sorry, Rowan,” I whispered, reaching out to rest a hand on his arm.

He looked down at my hand, then back at me, his expression softening just a fraction. “It’s been a long time,” he said quietly. “But the memory never fades.”

We walked in silence for a few moments. I couldn’t shake the sadness I felt for him, for the life he’d lost. The man beside me wasn’t the same man he had been before the Collapse, and I was beginning to understand just how much the world had changed him.

“There’s something else I’ve been meaning to ask,” I said after a while, glancing up at him. He turned his head slightly, his eyes curious as he waited for me to continue. “Why me, Rowan? Why did you choose me? Why mark me as your mate?”

His eyes darkened at the question, and I felt a faint shiver run through me as his gaze locked onto mine, intense and unwavering. For a moment, I wasn’t sure if he would answer, if he would brush off the question like it didn’t matter. But then, with a sigh, he stopped walking, turning to face me fully.

“It wasn’t a choice,” he said, his voice low, rough with something I couldn’t quite place. “It was instinct. The moment I saw you… the wolf inside me knew. It recognized something in you that I couldn’t ignore. I tried to fight it, tried to resist the pull, but it was stronger than anything I’ve ever felt before.”

I stared up at him, my heart racing at his words, trying to make sense of what he was telling me. “But… why?” I asked again, my voice barely a whisper. “Why me?”

Rowan stepped closer, his hand cupping my face gently as he looked down at me, his expression softening. “Because you’re different, Kendra. You’re strong, brave. You’ve survived in a world that wants to tear you apart, and you haven’t given in. You’re not afraid to fight for the people you care about. And the wolf inside me saw that, felt that. It knew, before I did, that you were the one. My one true mate.”

I placed my hand over his, leaning into his touch, my heart swelling with a mix of emotions I couldn’t quite make out.

“I’m glad it was you,” I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. “I’m glad you found me.”

He smiled, cupping my face a bit tighter, his thumb tracing across my cheek, before we continued walking. The sun started to sink lower in the sky. Rowan walked beside me, his hand occasionally brushing against mine, and though the silence between us was comfortable, I couldn’t stop thinking about everything he’d just shared. There were still so many questions swirling in my mind, things I wanted to know but wasn’t sure how to ask.

But eventually, my curiosity got the better of me.

“Do you ever wish things had turned out differently?” I asked, glancing over at him. “You know… before the Collapse? Do you ever wish you could go back?”

Rowan was quiet for a moment, his gaze fixed ahead as if he was thinking carefully about how to answer. The silence stretched between us, and I wondered if I’d overstepped, but then he let out a long breath and spoke.

“Sometimes,” he admitted, his voice low. “I think about what my life could have been if the world hadn’t fallen apart. Whatit would have been like to marry Eva, have the family we’d dreamed of. It’s hard not to think about it—what I lost.”

I nodded, understanding. There were things I missed too—things I wished had never been taken from me. “Do you regret joining the fight back then? Trying to resist the wolves?”

He shook his head. “No. I couldn’t just stand by and watch everything fall apart without doing something. Even if it cost me everything. But…” He paused, his eyes darkening. “There are nights when I wonder if it would have been better if I hadn’t survived. If maybe I wasn’t meant to make it through the Collapse.”

I swallowed hard, his words hitting me like a punch to the gut. I couldn’t imagine a world without Rowan now, without his strength, his presence beside me.

“But you did survive,” I said softly, reaching out to brush my fingers against his arm. “And I’m glad you did.”

His eyes flicked down to meet mine, and I could see the raw emotion there—the vulnerability he so rarely showed. He nodded, his jaw tightening slightly.

“Yeah,” he murmured, his voice rough. “I guess I’m starting to think maybe I was meant to survive. So I could find you.”

A warmth spread through me at his words, and for a moment, all I could do was walk beside him, letting the weight of everything settle between us. The Collapse had taken so much from him—more than I’d ever realized—and yet, he was still here, still fighting.

As the light began to fade and the shadows grew longer, the forest around us opened up into a wide valley, the groundsloping down toward a river that cut through the middle of it. The water glistened in the fading light, the soft rush of it echoing through the valley, and I could see that this would be a good place to stop for the night.

“We should rest here,” Rowan said, breaking through my thoughts. “It’s sheltered enough, and we’ll have water.”

I nodded, feeling the exhaustion from the day’s travel settling into my bones. My legs ached, and the thought of curling up beside the river and letting the steady rhythm of the water lull me to sleep was more tempting than I cared to admit.

“Sounds perfect,” I said with a small smile, following him down the slope toward the water’s edge.

As we walked, another question bubbled up inside me, one I had been thinking about since he told me about his first shift.

“Rowan,” I began, glancing over at him, “how do you know when the wolf is in control? Like, can you feel it happening, or does it just… take over?”

He looked over at me, a flicker of surprise in his eyes, but he didn’t hesitate to answer. “It’s a bit of both,” he said, his voice thoughtful. “I can feel it creeping in sometimes, especially when I’m angry or when I feel threatened. It’s like this pressure building inside me, and I know if I don’t keep it in check, the wolf will take over. But sometimes… it just happens. Especially in moments of extreme emotion.”

---