Page 52 of His Mate

“It wasn’t what you’d expect,” he said after a pause, his tone softening as if the memory had tugged at something deeperinside him. “It wasn’t like this powerful, controlled thing you might imagine it would be. In reality, it was terrifying.”

I stopped walking, turning to face him as he spoke, intrigued. I could see in his eyes that the memory was vivid even after all this time.

“I was young,” Rowan continued, stepping closer to me. “It was just after the virus had spread. No one really knew what it was at the time, just that it made people sick—or worse. I remember feeling… off. My senses were keener. My body didn’t feel like my own.” He paused, glancing toward the trees as though the memory still lurked somewhere in the shadows. “Then one night, I felt this pressure building inside me, like I was being ripped apart from the inside out. And before I knew it, I wasn’t… me anymore.”

I swallowed hard, trying to imagine what that must have been like, to feel your body shift into something unrecognizable.

“Were you scared?”

“Scared doesn’t even begin to cover it.” He shook his head, his lips pressed into a thin line. “I was terrified. I didn’t know what was happening. My bones were cracking, my muscles stretching in ways that weren’t possible. I thought I was dying. I could feel the wolf inside me fighting to take control, but I didn’t understand it, didn’t know how to control it. All I could think was that I was becoming a monster.”

I stepped closer, resting a hand on his arm. “But you learned to control it eventually.”

He nodded slowly. “Over time, yeah. At first, it was just chaos. When I shifted, I lost all sense of who I was. The wolf took over completely, and I’d wake up in the middle of the woods with nomemory of what I’d done or where I’d been.” He met my eyes, his gaze intense. “It was like being trapped in your own body, knowing you were capable of things you couldn’t control.”

I shuddered at the thought. “How did you… how did you learn to handle it?”

Rowan smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Time, mostly. And a lot of trial and error. The traits I have as a wolf—they’re heightened. Strength, speed, senses. Over time, I started to get used to them, started to figure out how to harness them. But it wasn’t easy. Even now, sometimes the wolf can take over when I’m not careful.”

“Like when you marked me?” I asked softly.

His eyes flickered with something unreadable for a moment before he nodded. “Exactly like that. The wolf recognized you as my mate, and I couldn’t stop the instinct. It’s primal. Overwhelming.” He paused, his voice dropping to a whisper. “But I don’t regret it.”

I felt heat rise to my cheeks, my pulse quickening at his words. He was so unapologetic, so sure of what he wanted. But there was a tenderness beneath his words, a softness that made my heart ache in a way I hadn’t expected.

“Does it… does it feel different?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. “When you’re in your wolf form?”

Rowan smiled again, this time with more warmth.

“Everything feels more… intense. My senses are sharper, my instincts stronger. But it’s also freeing, in a way. The wolf doesn’t think the same way we do. It just is. It knows what it wants, what it needs, and it takes it.”

I couldn’t help but shiver at his words, a strange mix of fear and fascination curling inside me. “And what does your wolf want now?”

His eyes darkened slightly, and he stepped closer, his hand brushing against my cheek. “Right now, all it wants is you.”

My heart skipped a beat at the raw intensity in his voice, but before I could respond, Rowan let out a soft chuckle, breaking the tension between us. “But I think we’ve still got a bit of walking to do before we can rest.”

I smiled, feeling lighter as we resumed our journey. The forest was peaceful, the air crisp and clean, and for the first time in days, I felt a sense of calm settle over me.

“What was your life like before the Collapse?” I asked softly, glancing over at him as we moved through the underbrush.

He didn’t answer right away, his eyes fixed on the path ahead, but I could see the way his jaw tightened, the way his shoulders tensed slightly at the question. For a moment, I wondered if I’d overstepped, if I should have waited for him to tell me on his own terms. But then, after a long silence, he sighed, running a hand through his hair as he spoke.

“It was different,” he said, his voice quiet, thoughtful. “It wasn’t… this. I mean, the world wasn’t easy then either, but it was normal. I had a job, friends… a fiancée.” He paused, and I saw the flicker of something in his eyes, something painful. “I was going to get married, start a family. That was the plan, at least.”

I felt a pang in my chest as I heard him mention his fiancée, the weight of the past heavy in his words. I hadn’t expected him to say that, hadn’t imagined Rowan as someone who had beenso close to a normal, settled life before the world turned upside down.

“What was her name?” I asked gently, sensing that there was more to the story than he had told me so far.

“Eva,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “She was… everything back then. Strong, smart, stubborn as hell. She was the only person who could keep up with me. The only one who could challenge me. We were supposed to be married right before everything fell apart. But when the Collapse happened, all of that just… well, it didn’t go like it was supposed to.”

I swallowed, feeling the weight of his loss settle between us, thick and heavy. “What happened to her?”

Rowan’s face darkened, and I could see the pain etched into his features, the memories he was clearly trying to push down. But after a moment, he let out a slow breath and continued.

“She died during one of the uprisings. We were fighting back against the wolves—before anyone really understood what they were. There were these packs, groups of people trying to defend themselves. We joined one of them, thinking it was our only chance.”

He clenched his fists, the anger and regret in his voice unmistakable.

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