Page 64 of Forgiving Fate

I fought every urge in my body to hug her and never let go. Ever since that day in the cabin, it seemed like she has been letting her guard down around me. And then when she sharedhow her parents died and she let me touch her…it was like I could see another wall crumbling.

The brisk Christmas air whips around me, reminding me that today isn’t the holly jolly day it should have been. Instead, I’m standing here, begging for Allie to be okay.

Never in my life did I think I would befriend the girl that I was sent to retrieve from her own personal hell, but here we are and I don’t regret it. Allie has shown a level of raw and real emotion that most hide behind. She has allowed me to see what is happening behind those light blues and a peek at the pain she is fighting daily to survive. Some days are good and some are bad. And every night when I go to bed, I have to fight the voices in my head that are telling me I am her only option. That she only needs me because she doesn’t have anyone else. Part of me thinks she would be better off without me, but every time I try, I end up right back at her door because, selfishly, she is the only person who silences the voices in my head.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and the feeling pulls me out of my head. Taking a deep breath, I glance towards the door to make sure Allie isn’t coming out before I dare answering whoever is calling. When nothing but the wreath hanging on the door sways in the wind after a few moments, I pull the device out of my pocket.

The vibrating momentarily stops as I see who it is, but it immediately starts back up.

Fuck. This isn’t going to be good.

Lachlan’s name appears on the screen and I take a deep breath before answering. He has always had some weird sixth sense on picking up unusual behavior patterns and for someone who is trying to desperately to hide the darkness inside himself, I need to secure my mask tightly in place.

Tapping the answer button, I bring the phone to my ear and lean against the Pitbull statue in front of the office. “MerryChristmas Lachlan.” My voice comes out void of emotion and almost cold.

Nice going Grinch.

“Merry Christmas Landon.” My spine immediately straightens at the tone of his voice. Lachlan is never one to show many emotions, but has one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen. He will help anyone and everyone, even if that means he kills himself in the process. Being a former Navy Seal, I can’t fathom what all this man has seen. But even with the weight of the past hanging on him, he always manages to have a soft, approachable demeanor to him. Today he sounds like…me.

Every care in the world besides Allie leaves my head and I kick off the statue, moving towards the car. Not many people are around, but I do not want to risk someone out for a walk hearing what I can only assume is going to be bad.

Before taking a seat inside the car, I glance back at the door. Pushing the seat backward to accommodate my long legs compared to Allie’s much shorter ones, I sit down close the door and snag a peppermint from the cup holder.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

Lachlan clears his throat. “Heard you ran into Lainey.”

I’m shocked for a moment. I expected him to jump right into the problem. Scrubbing my hand down my face and flipping the mint to the other side of my mouth, “Uh. Yeah. Maggie tackled me to the ground,” I say with a hint of laughter in my voice.

“Yeah. She said you were with some girl named Allie. Isn’t that Logan’s friend?” His voice is still void of emotion and it is leaving me on edge. What the fuck is he getting at?

“Yes.” I can’t help the anger that slips in. Why the hell is he questioning me like a goddamn captor?

“Well, be careful. Lainey said she looked terrified. We have no idea what that psycho did to her. You need to be sure you get her the proper care and help she deserves. She probably doesn’twant to see Logan, so that is out of the question, but professional help is definitely a need. I understand your need to help, but that girl probably needs more assistance than you can give her. If everywhere is full down there, there are spots open up here, just send me what assistance she will need and I will arrange it.”

Anger rises and I feel the fire starting to race through me, but I take a deep breath and rid my voice completely full of emotion. “You have no idea what you’re talking about, Lachlan. I am perfectly capable of taking care of her myself. Respectfully, Allie is none of your business, so I suggest you not question me regarding her ever again.”

My words are full of venom, and I don’t care. Allie needs to stay here. I am the only person she trusts. I may not be able to help myself, but I know one thing for certain, I can take care of her.

My eyes lock back on the door and I beg Allie not to come out. She does not need to see me seething and close to giving Lachlan my rage in full force. He doesn’t deserve it because I know he probably believes he’s doing what is best, but he knows nothing about her. I do. And I refuse to let anyone think otherwise.

Rustling on the other end of the phone draws my attention back to the present, Lachlan’s voice following. “I understand. My apologies for offering my help.” His voice is cold.

A blistering headache hits me out of nowhere, and I know now more than ever that I need to get off the phone so I can calm myself before Allie is done. She needs a calm presence and I am the furthest from that right now.

“Is there anything else you need? Or did you just call me about Allie?” I ask, my tone even and calm.

“Yes. Addison isn’t doing well and I need extra eyes on her while Miles is off on a competition. I would do it, but there was a ping in the system for a missing person up in Alberta. Her parents suspect foul play from one of her friends. It is a seriouscase. No one has seen the girl in a few months and the law, of course, won’t do anything due to her being an adult. So her parents are asking for assistance via Resilience.”

He takes a moment to clear his throat and now, as the weight of what is pulling him down hits me, I feel like a total ass for snapping at him.

“Fuck. Lach. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—”

“Stop. Don’t. We all have our own shit. I didn’t mean to doubt your abilities, Lan. You are great at what you do. I’m just surprised you are…on the front lines with this girl. Gray is usually the man for that…shit. Do you ever feel like what we do is so hard to put into words? You don’t even know how to explain it to yourself?”

A laugh escapes me, my anger subsides, and I sink back into the seat, my eyes still locked on the door. “Every. Fucking. Day.” Lachlan’s small laugh echos mine and I continue. “But it’s all good. Honestly, it’s been hell here, but we are getting by. When did the ping come in to Resilience?”

“A few hours ago.”

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