Page 38 of Forgiving Fate

Putting the car in park in the garage, I turn off the engine and hop out. Unlocking the door that connects to the kitchen, I don’t bother turning on any lights. There is a big window that looks out into the forest that surrounds most of the house. The moon is high in the sky, illuminating the living room and kitchen.

Kicking my shoes off under the coffee table, I sink down onto the corner of the gray sectional.

Finally.

My mind works on its own and I lean forward and I twist and reach behind the cushion. The neck of the bottle hits my hand and the fire inside me screams. Pulling the bottle into view, my hands shake.

I sit back, kick my legs up, and stare at the bottle resting on my leg. Part of me wants to throw it across the room and not let the voices and the fire win.

But I can’t. Because I will never be strong enough to defeat them.

Twisting the cap, I bring the bottle to my lips and the scent of cinnamon fills my nose. My entire body relaxes and my tongue darts out to taste the drop that is on the rim of the bottle. The flavor explodes on my tongue and my hand moves on its own. When I tilt the bottle up, the liquid flows down my throat.

The burn is only there for a second, and everything around me fades into the background. And soon my eyes close and the pain goes away.

Finally.

Chapter Fifteen

Allie

I jolt awake tothe sound of my phone vibrating on the coffee table.

Moving my neck from side to side, I try to alleviate the ache. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to sleep in one of the recliners.

After Landon left, I stared out at the night sky through the wall of windows in the cabin. Even though this isn’t my first pick of where I would be right now, I have to admit, this place is beautiful. I can understand why Logan picked to hide away here.

I spent what felt like hours checking every crevice, as well as changing the codes and passwords to the security system and locks. By the time I was done, I didn’t have the energy to drag myself up the stairs.

My phone vibrates on the table again, bringing me out of my head. I let out a small sigh of relief at Landon’s name.

I could see the look on Logan’s face after I asked her for space. She looked hurt, but she understood. Still, I’m shocked she hasn’t sent over a single check in.

Did Landon say something to her after he left?

Picking up the phone, I swipe up to see a text from Landon.

Landon Hayes:On my way.

Landon Hayes: I’m here. Come out when you’re ready to go. We are going to Seattle to grab you a new phone and pick up a car.

I stare at this text and for the first time in days, it hits me. How am I going to pay for all of this? Did the asshole drain all my accounts? Do I even have a penny to my name?

My job. My perfect job where I helped the most beautiful humans in the world. Did he call them and tell them I left them high and dry? Or did I just disappear into thin air, leaving them thinking I just abandoned them?

Panic starts to rise in my chest. How am I going to do all of this? I can barely make it five minutes without feeling like the world is closing in around me. How the hell am I going to go out and get a job in a place I barely know and function like a normal human being while hiding that I am shattered into tiny pieces on the inside?

My chest rises and falls at rapid speed and my knees come up to my chest. I wrap my arms around them and bury my face in my legs. My body shakes so badly that I feel it in the chair.

Get it together Allie.

The chair shakes again and then I realize it’s not me shaking, it’s my phone. I glance down and see Landon’s name lighting up the screen. Absentmindedly, I swipe to answer the call and bury my face back in my legs.

You are safe. You are okay. You can do this.I repeat this to myself over and over.

Landon’s worried voice comes through the speaker, interrupting my never ending rambling mind. “Allie. Is everything okay?”

I don’t answer and just nod like he can see me.

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