Page 123 of Forgiving Fate

For the first time in months, I feel like I can finally think clearly. All the pain and hurt I had to work through the past few months was to get me to this point where I could stand alone in this world without my favorite people. I know in my heart that I did all of this for myself because being able to be your own rock shows a level of strength I didn’t know existed.

What I didn’t know was that strength can multiply by millions when you get to be the rock for someone you care deeply about. Standing here with this man, shows me that I not only can stand alone, but I can also be his rock on a hard day.

Chapter Forty-Five

Landon

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Straightening my shirt, I wait for Logan to answer the door.

I didn’t sleep at all because I was nervous for today. Is Allie going to feel the same magnetic pull that she once did? Are all the feelings that we had before going to still be there, or are we just better as friends? We have both grown so much and regardless if the feelings lie beyond friendship or not, I still want her in my life. I just hope she can still see me in any version that fits in her life.

Logan opens the door and Willow stands protectively in front of her until she recognizes me and greets me.

“Hey Lo. Hi Willow.” I say, bending down to scratch her fluffy head.

Leaning on the door, Logan’s face twists and I immediately stand. “What’s wrong?”

“Allie isn’t here. She crawled into bed with me last night after having a nightmare.”

“Is she okay?” I ask, not hiding the panic in my voice.

“Yeah. She had a session with her therapist but she was still a little shaken by the nightmare, so Gray suggested she go for a run and she hasn’t come back yet. I was actually just about to get in the car and go look for her. I figured if she was still gone when you got here, you would come, since you probably know her typical pattern better than I do.”

Gone is the panic of her possible rejection and front in center is finding Allie and making sure she is okay.

I search my mind and retrace all the places that she would typically go, and then it hits me.

I’m down the stairs in seconds. “I know where she is. I will text you if I’m right!”

She yells something after me, but I don’t hear her. In seconds, I’m in my truck and tearing down the driveway and out to the road. Not soon after, I’m pulling down the driveway that houses my worst nightmare.

With dark clouds high in the sky, the newly built cabin stands alone and untouched. Not a soul besides the builders stepping foot inside since its completion.

Slamming the truck into park, I jump out and run behind the cabin into the woods. My footsteps slow as I get closer to the rundown shed sitting in the middle of the dense forest.

Please be here, Allie Girl. Please.

Allie

Laying on the cold wood floor, I stare up at the ceiling as rain drips down on my face. The cold water reminding me I am still here on this earth.

The feeling is bittersweet. I survived. I have people surrounding me that want me to heal, but the nightmares that strike at the worst time set me back.

No matter how hard I work, the nightmares and feelings of loss are still there. Every day, the pain is still there. The memories are so burned in my mind that even if I go days without thinking ofhim, he pops out of nowhere like a stupid jump scare, reminding me that I am still not at the place I want to be.

But that’s okay. At least that’s what I have learned to tell myself every time I have a bad day.

Last night, the nightmare was full of screams. With constant reminders, my parents were gone because of me. I woke up in a complete panic and ran to Logan. I scared the shit out of Grayson, but once he realized it was me and not someone trying to murder his fiancée, he told me to take his side of the bed and went to sleep in the guest room.

I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I sat up all night thinking about everything that had happened in the past year. Losing my parents. Almost losing myself. Forgiving Logan. But the one thing that came to the forefront every time was Landon.

The man who had never left my mind the entire time I was gone.

Seeing him yesterday felt like coming home after being away for months. The comfort and need to be near him was clear, but I also know we cannot jump back into the way things were.

He looked incredible and just the way he was standing, I could tell his mind was finally clear.

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