Page 124 of Forgiving Fate

Something I have learned through this phase of healing is that sometimes you meet a person who is meant to be in your life at the wrong time. You feel a chemistry like none other, but you know it isn’t the right time. Landon and I were a classic case of right person, wrong time. I know we need to grow as people on our own to discover if we can become something beyond comfort in a place full of hurt.

As time ticked on, the string that tethered us together grew stronger with every letter and I knew the moment I saw him the answer would be clear. And it was, but we need to take things slow because jumping back into how things were before is a recipe for hurt and mistakes.

The roof shakes as someone opens the door and I know it’s him. I knew we were supposed to go on a date, but the dire need to run and clear my mind before the hard conversations we were about to have was necessary.

I knew he would find me here because, let’s face it, that man knows me better than anyone ever could.

Landon doesn’t say a word as he lays down with his head next to mine, his legs facing the opposite direction as mine.

His eyes lock with mine as he loops his pinky with mine and the moment I look into his deep storm colored eyes, I feel like the waves calm down to a gentle thunderstorm and breathe life into my lungs.

I can see the worry in his eyes, but I can also see the understanding.

The rain outside grows loud and strong, but I don’t care.

The silence we once fought so hard to find by using each other is now here, but it’s different. It’s no longer filled with desperation or the need to escape. Its now filled with peace and a chemistry that can only be described as magnetic . For the first time in months, I feel like I can finally breathe.

I look away from him before my mind does something I am far from ready to do.

His pinky grips mine tighter, and I look over at him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I know we were supposed to go on a date but—.”

Landon interrupts me. “Never apologize. Running has been your way of escaping and recharging.”

“I know, but today was important and we–.”

Abruptly, he sits up and reaches for my hand. I allow him to pull me up and into his lap, his arms wrapping tightly around me. “Today is important, but so is your mind. Today was about seeing who we are beyond the pain and self-proclaimed flaws. But mostly it was to see if we still can be with each other among the silence and feel that invisible string pulling us closer together.”

“How?” I ask, through the lump in my throat.

“How what Allie Girl?”

Butterflies fill my stomach at the silly little nickname. That is one of my favorite things to hear.

“How do you somehow know exactly what to say? You are a man of very few words, but yet every time you speak, you say something that feels like you are reading the thoughts running through my mind.”

Landon’s hand runs up and down my back, and I relax into him. “Because I know you. We may both be two broken souls, but I know in my heart that we are more than friends, and seeing you yesterday only confirmed that. But as you said yesterday, I want to take things slow, even though I desperately want to ripyou out of these damn leggings. I have worked my ass off to become a man that I am happy with and someone that is worthy to stand in your corner. If you will have me?”

Holy hell. This man is really trying to get every emotion he can out of me today.

Taking a deep breath, I lean back and meet his gaze. “The moment I saw you, I knew you weren’t the same man. The way you held yourself and spoke, it was like you were a completely different person, yet also your same loving and sassy self.”

“Hey! I am not sassy. That’s you!” he says, pinching my side.

Swatting his hand away, I continue, “That’s one thing I missed the most. Letters cannot compare to hearing you speak and the way you react to what others say. You are direct, yet you can also be funny as hell without even trying. I missed you so much and I was so afraid that once we knew how to deal with the pain and hurt without using each other, the connection and beautiful silence would be gone. But its not. At least it isn’t for me.”

A smile spreads across his face and he leans his forehead down to mine. “I can promise you, it’s definitely not.”

The air in the room shifts, and the dire need to kiss this man screams in my head. Landon’s grip on me tightens, and I can tell he is fighting just as hard.

I am about to throw slow out the window and say fuck it when the smallest meow distracts us.

Grabbing Landon’s phone from the ground next to him, I shine the light around the shed until I see four little green eyes crowded in the corner.

Immediately I am climbing off Landon’s lap, handing him the phone, and making my way over to the tiny black kittens.

Meow.

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