Page 58 of Broken

“Shut the door.”

“Okay, you’re seriously starting to scare me.”

She pushed the door closed, and the second I heard it click, I blurted, “I might be pregnant.”

I slapped a hand over my mouth as Annie gaped.

“You might what?”

My eyes welled up. “I might be pregnant. I don’t know for sure. I’ve just been thinking I’ve been sick lately. LikeDaddykind of sick with everything going on. But then I was in Tucker’s bathroom, and I spotted that pregnancy test he bought for Lisa, and I don’t know. It kind of makes sense.”

“Okay. You’re kind of losing me here. You thought you weresick, like possible brain tumor sick, and you didn’t tell me?”

“Annie! Focus.”

“I am. We’ll get to the other in a minute. I knew you were hiding something, but I was just giving you time to process. If I’d known you thought you were possibly going to die, I would’ve forced you to talk sooner.”

“I feel like I’m dying now.” My hand gripped my middle as I paced the hardwood floors. It felt hard to breathe. Air was barely making it to my lungs.

Annie came up and placed her hands on my arms by my shoulders, letting me stop. She met my eyes, way more calm resting in the surface of hers than I knew she was seeing in mine.

“Deep breaths. Breathe with me.” She inhaled slowly then released a long exhale. I mimicked her, doing several roundsbefore I started to feel like I was back inside myself again. “Now explain. Please. How do you go from brain tumor to pregnant with just seeing a test?”

“Um.” I shoved a hand back through my hair. “I’ve been dizzy. A lot. I’ve even passed out a few times, which I was always, or at least usually able to, chock up to not enough food or water. Leo and I have been practicing so hard.”

“Okay…not happy to hear you’re making yourselfpass outbut go on.”

“I’m not doing it on purpose,” I defended. “It never used to happen. But it’s not just that. Ever since that virus I’ve been run down and exhausted, and my stomach has been getting swoops of nausea. Which I thought was just stress, but then after I saw that test…”

“But haven’t you been having your period?”

“Not like I used to. Dr. Fallor changed my birth control back in July,rightbefore Tucker and I started sleeping together, and it’s beenreallylight ever since. I thought it was just the new pills, but what if it’s not?”

“But what if it is? A lot of this could be explained away. Or you really might just need to go to the doctor.” I could hear Annie’s desperation behind her denial, but some part of me knew. The second I saw that box, I knew.

“I grabbed the test. I need to take it.”

Annie released a massive gush of air and dropped to sit on my bed. She looked up. “Okay.”

Digging out the test, I shut myself in the bathroom. I felt like I was moving on autopilot. The whole thing surreal. Never in a million years had I pictured myself doing this in high school. On my boyfriend’s birthday, no less.Oh, God. What if it’s actually positive?What am I going to do?How would I tell Tucker?

Slow down.I forced myself to take a few deep breaths. It was possible I was stirring myself up over nothing.

But I didn’t believe that.

My hands now strangely steady, I placed the cap back on the stick and set it on the counter.

“Izzy?” Annie tapped on the door.

I opened it, finding the fear I should be feeling in her eyes. It was like I was numb. “Two minutes,” I told her, stepping out to go sit on my bed.

Annie joined me, her feet tapping restlessly on the floor. She stuck her hands under her thighs to keep them still. “So, what are you going to do if–”

“I don’t know.” I sounded weird. Creepy. Calm.

Some part of my brain had checked out.

I stared at a handle on the dresser Daddy had made, one of those precious items I still held from him, and all I could think of was what he must be thinking, watching what I was doing now from up above. I pushed the thought away, not wanting to go there, the only noise in the room the next hour-like minutes the sound of the clock ticking on the wall.

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